The chart below shows the number of men and women (in thousand) in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women (in thousand) in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph chart illustrates how male and female
students
completed
further
education
either
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
or part-time in Britain in three different
era
Fix the agreement mistake
eras
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
namely 1970-71, 1980-81 and 1990-91.
Overall
,
it is clear that
the portion of part-time educational
students
was significantly higher than in both gender categories. Noticeably, the
number
of female learners
were gradually emerged
Change to the active voice
gradually emerged
emerged
show examples
year by year. For male
students
, precisely about 1000
students
were learning part-time during 1970-1971 which declined by roughly 150
students
after two decades passed.
On the other hand
, the year 1980-81 had the least
number
of
students
in full-time
education
and only about 80
students
were in full-time
education
in 1970/71.
Additionally
,
this
number
grew
40
Change preposition
by 40
show examples
students
per decade and from 120 to over 200 male
students
in 1990- 1991. Meanwhile, the amount of part-time female
students
was starting
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
startling
Correct article usage
a startling
show examples
pace in 1970-1971 and there was only below 50 in full-time
education
. Later, the quantity of female full-time learners was raising slightly in 1980 but the amount
part-time
Change preposition
of part-time
show examples
education
rocketed to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
830.
Lastly
, the
number
of female part-time
students
climbed consistently to the 1200
however
there was a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
drop in the full-time female learners.
According to
the graph,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full-time
further
education
was not popular in both gender categories. To summarize, the
number
of female
students
was raising substantially compared to the male
students
within three decades.
Submitted by thant2356zin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, education, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: