Study shows that many criminals have low levels of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

#study #criminals #levels #education #reason #people #crime #prison #job

‘Have you ever dreamed of a safe country with no crimes?’ As the

crime

rate gradually increased all over the world, some

people

think that providing education in prison is the solution to low

crime

rates,

while

others are against it. In my opinion, I believe that teaching prisoners useful working skills and improving their social values can prevent them from going back to jail.

Therefore

, returning a safer and happier neighbourhood to all the citizens. First of all, poverty is the main cause of

crime

people

are forced to steal or rob if their biological needs are not fulfilled. Some of these thieves and robbers have no choice since they are too desperate for money.

However

Change preposition

apply

show examples

educating them and teaching them skills to apply for jobs can help them get rid of poverty.

For example

, prisons in Taiwan teach their prisoners to bake and even open up a bakery especially for them to sell their breads and cookies. Prisoners earn a little money by themselves and start to set goals

Change preposition

for

show examples

the future.

Secondly

, offering education to correct criminals’ social values is

also

important. Some

people

made mistakes

due to

the low levels of education and moral standards. If all

people

get the chance to learn about right and wrong, their sense of justice and morals may prevent them from committing crimes.

To sum up

, a world with low

crime

levels is what everyone dreamed of. I believe by teaching working skills and social values in prison, criminals get a chance to break out of poverty and eventually lower the

crime

rate.

Submitted by tin30424 on Sat Apr 29 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Study shows that many criminals have low levels of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

Due to development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some feel that individuals should try to assimilate completely to the country where they live while others feel it is more important to preserve their native culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.