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Band 6.5

Study shows that many criminals have low levels of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

#study #criminals #levels #education #reason #people #crime #prison #job
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‘Have you ever dreamed of a safe country with no crimes?’ As the
crime
 rate gradually increased all over the world, some
people
 think that providing education in prison is the solution to low
crime
 rates,
while
 others are against it. In my opinion, I believe that teaching prisoners useful working skills and improving their social values can prevent them from going back to jail.
Therefore
, returning a safer and happier neighbourhood to all the citizens. First of all, poverty is the main cause of
crime
,
people
 are forced to steal or rob if their biological needs are not fulfilled. Some of these thieves and robbers have no choice since they are too desperate for money.
However
,
by
Change preposition
apply
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educating them and teaching them skills to apply for jobs can help them get rid of poverty.
For example
, prisons in Taiwan teach their prisoners to bake and even open up a bakery especially for them to sell their breads and cookies. Prisoners earn a little money by themselves and start to set goals
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the future.
Secondly
, offering education to correct criminals’ social values is
also
 important. Some
people
 made mistakes
due to
 the low levels of education and moral standards. If all
people
 get the chance to learn about right and wrong, their sense of justice and morals may prevent them from committing crimes.
To sum up
, a world with low
crime
 levels is what everyone dreamed of. I believe by teaching working skills and social values in prison, criminals get a chance to break out of poverty and eventually lower the
crime
 rate.
Submitted by tin30424 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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