Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

#people #money #celebrations #waste

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There is no doubt that family is

main

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the main

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reason

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for

show examples

development

Correct article usage

the development

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and growth of any society.Health relations between

indivduals

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individuals

will result in

Correct article usage

a health

show examples

health

Replace the word

healthy

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productive community. Recently, The importance of family parties and the amount of

money

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spended

Correct your spelling

spent

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

these

event

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events

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has now become more controversial with many

claim

Wrong verb form

claiming

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that it is worth spending

while

Linking Words

other

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others

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reject

this

Linking Words

notion.

This

Linking Words

eassy

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essay

easy

will

illustrates

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illustrate

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both sides and their supporting

arguements

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arguments

. On

one

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the one

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side, the key and vital reason why people spend

huge

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a huge

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amount of

money

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show examples

family celebrations is that these

event

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events

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connect family members.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many

individual

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individuals

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family

Correct article usage

the family

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lives in

far

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the far

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area and rarely can join in

these event

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this event

these events

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

, family member memories

last

Linking Words

forever holding

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

of joyful moments.

Also

Linking Words

, building

strong

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a strong

show examples

bond

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bonds

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between

indviduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

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show examples

contrasting

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the contrasting

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side,one clear disadvantage

about

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show examples

these gathering is that

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

money

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spend

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spent

show examples

short

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the short

a short

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period that

last

Linking Words

for

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

hours.

Also

Linking Words

, many

family

Change to a plural noun

families

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take loans from banks and stay years in debt rather than spend

these

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this money

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money

Use synonyms

on education or

esstenial

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essential

family needs. Not only

money

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is wasted but

also

Linking Words

large

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a large

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amount of food is wasted.

For instance

Linking Words

, studied

conduct

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conducted

show examples

Correct article usage

the university

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university

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University

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jordan

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Jordan

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showed that more than 40% of food is wasted

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during

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these celebrations

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

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could have saved many families who are facing food

shortage

Fix the agreement mistake

shortages

show examples

. On balance, in my personal view,

althought

Correct your spelling

although

these celebrations

last

Linking Words

years and years but spending

money

Use synonyms

on vital fields is more

importance

Replace the word

important

show examples

. I

beliveve

Correct your spelling

believe

that family members should meet up and enjoy time together to connect

Correct word choice

and bond

show examples

bond

Fix the agreement mistake

bonds

show examples

among its members in simple classic events.

Submitted by mabuzayedfamily on Sat Apr 29 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

interest in homeschooling is becoming more widespread around the world. in your opinion, should school be compulsory for all children, or should families be allowed the right to choose to educate their children at home?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

More and more people are shifting to a plant-based diet. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

‏Higher education could be funded in three ways. all costs paid by government, all costs paid by students or student paying all costs through a government loan. what are the advantages of these choices?

advertising has become increasingly popular in different markets. The firms are using various forms of adverts to popularize the novelty of their products to the public in order to make additional profit.