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Writing Samples
Band 5

Computers ar often argued to be the most importent invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or diagree with this statment

#computers #ar #importent #invention #years #diagree #statment
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The
computer
 is one of the greatest inventions in history if it is not the greatest. First of all, computers are important nowadays because we need them in different ceases.
For example
, some people use it for studying or working and it is helpful.
Therefore
, we can communicate with the world from our laptops, make money, and have fun by watching movies or practising our
hippies
Correct your spelling
hobbies
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such
 as reading or writing.
Second,
a lot of people can work and control their business from the
computer
.
Finally
, most companies use the
computer
due to
 many advantages.
For instance
, word, excel, access, skype etc…. Recently, we discovered how
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 important during the
corona
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
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 pandemic, we were studying online and doing many things from computers. Another thing, in modern cities and countries the
computer
 become the system for everything.
Moreover
, a country like Saudi Arabia
they have
Wrong verb form
has
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 changed the way of transactions, they use
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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computer
instead
 of humans. To illustrate, anyone can get a driver lesson, and renew their residence with the help of the
computer
.
Last
 but not least, some people their lives depend on laptops and I am one of them. In fact, I cannot stay without my laptop even one day
as a result
, I am a student and I am a stock trader and a gamer and
last
 thing I am a Photoshop designer so, I am nothing without a
computer
. In summary, we can agree the
computer
 is the greatest invention in history because of its benefits.
Submitted by mralryqy28 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive phrases and ensure varied sentence structures to maintain the reader's interest. The ideas need to be supported with more specific and concrete examples.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving the structure of your essay by organizing it into clear paragraphs with topic sentences. This will help in presenting a logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
Be sure to engage with the question explicitly. While you have discussed the importance of computers, ensure that you clearly state to what extent you agree or disagree with the statement in your introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Expand on your points with more detailed examples and explanations to provide a more comprehensive response. Mentioning specific instances or real-world examples can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your essay effectively touches on multiple aspects of why computers are important, ranging from education and work to communication and businesses.
task achievement
Despite some minor inaccuracies, your writing conveys clear and comprehensive ideas about the relevance of computers in modern life.
task achievement
You have provided relevant specific examples to support your points, such as the examples of tasks completed during the corona pandemic and the use of computers in modern cities.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized
  • instantaneous
  • affordable
  • accelerated
  • data analysis
  • simulations
  • complex computations
  • automating
  • precision
  • manufacturing
  • project management
  • unparalleled
  • continuous learning
  • economic impact
  • advent
  • driver of economic growth
  • job creation
  • personalized services
  • quality of life
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