IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
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The importance of using different dairy and drinking
products
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 like bread, cakes,
beverages
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and beverages
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 containing large amounts of sweets, which was always debatable, has now become more controversial. The substantial influence of consuming higher quantities of sweetness has sparked
the
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apply
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controversy over the potential impact of
this
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 trend on
people
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 over the years. It can be agreed that the bulk use of sweet
items
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 has certain
problems
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,
however
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, there are a plethora of solutions as well.
This
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 essay will elaborate
the
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on the
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problems
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 and solutions and
thus
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 will lead to a logical conclusion. At the outset, there are numerous reasons why consuming sugary
items
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are
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is
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 dangerous to
health
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, but the most conspicuous one lies in the fact that it causes
health
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 issues like
diabetes
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,
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obesity
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and obesity
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. Both of them are very dangerous and injurious to
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a person
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person
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person's
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health
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 and can cause serious
health
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 issues that can lead to death.
For example
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,
in
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apply
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a study published by the University of Manchester revealed that 80
percent
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per cent
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 of the persons that use dairy
products
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 and beverages, become affected by
diabetes
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 and
obesity
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.
Usage
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The usage
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 of sugary
items
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,
therefore
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, plays a vital role in serious
health
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problems
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, and
also
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death
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the death
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 of
the
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a
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 person.
On the other hand
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, approaches to deal with
problems
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 of consumption of high sugar
products
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 are numerous, but the most effective one is that the government should make rules and regulations to increase the prices of the
items
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 by applying GST that contain high sweet ingredients, which is not unattainable and impractical but comprehensive and feasible.
Moreover
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, there should be awareness campaigns regarding
diabetes
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 and
obesity
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, in which
people
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 should be informed about the side effects of sugar
products
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.
In addition
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 to
this
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, governments should control the quantity of sweetness added to these
items
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, in order to save the lives of its citizens. For instance,
in
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apply
show examples
a study published by the University of Regina revealed that 90
percent
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per cent
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 of
people
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 who are not affected by
diabetes
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 and
obesity
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 do not use beverages, chocolates and dairy
products
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.
Usage
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The usage
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 of less sugary foods,
therefore
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, plays an imperative role in
better
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a better
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 and
healthy
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healthier
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 lifestyle. In conclusion, Awareness should be given to
people
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 on high sugar
products
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 and the government should take necessary steps to discourage the taking of high
insolene
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insolence
insole
insolent
products
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 by increasing the prices of the
items
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. Based on the above-mentioned facts, it can be concluded that
,
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apply
show examples
 the impact of the overuse of sweet
items
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 is prominent,
although
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 solutions should be well handled.
Submitted by rizwan.shaukat969 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
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