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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

#students #science #subjects #university #countries #effects #society
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In
today
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today's
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 world a lot of countries have a problem with a
lack
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 of
students
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 who prefer
science
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subject
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subjects
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 in
university
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. Before
students
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 make a decision
which
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about which
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 specialization they will choose, some of them have an
intension
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intention
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 to
study
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 in
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science
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the science
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 area
while
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 others think that studying in that area is not a good decision.
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Lack
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The lack
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 of
students
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 who
study
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science
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subjects
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have
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has
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 a few reasons and some negative effects on
society
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. The first reason why
students
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 do not choose
science
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subjects
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 is
complex
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the complex
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 learning
process
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.
Complex
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A complex
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 learning
process
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 happens because
students
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 have to learn a diversity of difficult
subjects
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,
such
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 as math, physics, and chemistry.
Students
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 who choose to become
a
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apply
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data
analyst
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analysts
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,
for instance
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, need to spend lots of time on
theory
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the theory
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 of probability and statistical analysis.
As a result
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,
students
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 who deny difficult
subjects
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 are stuck on
the
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apply
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specializations,
such
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 as management,
sociological
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sociology
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, or
psychological
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psychology
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. Another reason why
students
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 do not prefer
science
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subjects
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 is
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lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
exposure
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 in
school
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.
Lack
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 of
exposure
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 in
school
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 appears when
education
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the education
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process
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 can not provide
opportunity
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opportunities
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 for
students
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 who want to
study
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 complex
science
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subjects
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.
For example
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, small countryside schools suffer from
absence
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the absence
an absence
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 of
an
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apply
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equipment which can improve
education
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the education
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process
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 with practice experiments in class.
Thus
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, when
students
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 choose different
subjects
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 in
university
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, they need to take into account their background from a
school
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, eventually
lack
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 of
exposure
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 in
school
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 and
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process
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the process
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 of choosing have
close
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a close
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 connection
between
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apply
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to each other.
Therefore
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, complex learning
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process
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processes
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 and
lack
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 of
exposure
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 in
school
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 are the main reasons why
students
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consequently
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 choose humanities
subjects
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 in
university
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. There
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also
Add a missing verb
are also
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 many consequences for
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society
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a society
the society
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 which
lack
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high
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highly
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 graduated engineers in a country. One of the consequences is
problems
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 with environmental
safety
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.
Problems
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 with environmental
safety
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happens
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happen
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 because
society
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 is experiencing
problems
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 with
personals
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people
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which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 finish
science
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subjects
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.
For example
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, in modern
cities
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cities,
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 engineers try to reduce harm from accidents on the road with the help of new technologies.
Hence
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, if
students
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continue
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continue to
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 choose humanities
subjects
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society
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 will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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live in
country
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a country
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 which has a problem with environmental
safety
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. Another consequence is
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lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of vacations.
Students
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study
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science
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subjects
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a
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for a
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long
of
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apply
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period of time and when they
release
Wrong verb form
are released
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 from a
university
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the
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apply
show examples
society
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 cannot provide
opportunity
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opportunities
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 for employment.
Therefore
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,
problems
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 with environmental
safety
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 and
lack
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 of vacations are the main consequences
why
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of why
show examples
students
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 do not choose
science
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subjects
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. In conclusion, complex learning
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process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
 and
lack
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 of
exposure
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 in
school
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 are the main reasons
lack
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 of
students
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 choosing
science
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subjects
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 in
university
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while
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problems
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 with environmental
safety
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 and
lack
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 of vacations are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terrible results.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Task response
Ensure a clear and concise introduction that directly addresses the essay prompt. While you mentioned the lack of students in science, a stronger stance or thesis would improve clarity.
Task response
Work on developing more comprehensive and focused paragraphs. Each paragraph should clearly link to the main idea of the essay, and ideas should be explained further with more specific examples or evidence.
Coherence and cohesion
Maintain a clear logical flow throughout your essay. Use transition words effectively and ensure that each paragraph flows naturally to the next. This will improve the essay's readability and coherence.
Coherence and cohesion
Incorporate a concluding paragraph that succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your thesis in light of the evidence provided. This will strengthen your essay's overall cohesion and effectiveness.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • promotion
  • opportunities
  • role models
  • lucrative
  • employment
  • gender stereotypes
  • societal norms
  • access to information
  • technological stagnation
  • shortage
  • skilled professionals
  • innovation
  • healthcare sector
  • workforce
  • global competitiveness
  • advancements
  • economic growth
  • public health services
  • environmental sciences
  • combat climate change
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