All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled?

3.0 / 9

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Introduction

Obesity

Use synonyms

is one of

global

Correct article usage

the global

show examples

health

Use synonyms

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

nowadays.

Obesity

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can be suffered by all ages

gender

Correct word choice

and gender

show examples

. There are many factors causing

obesity

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. One of them is

sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle. Despite

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

exercise

Use synonyms

is a treatment to cure and prevent

this

Linking Words

problem.

Body paragraph 1

People

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

era are used to

sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle.

Sedentary

Correct article usage

A sedentary

show examples

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

is a kind of lifestyle that lack

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

daily activity.

For example

Linking Words

, an employee that

spending

Wrong verb form

spends

show examples

his day only sitting and watching a computer.

Moreover

Linking Words

This

Linking Words

activity is not equal

with

Change preposition

show examples

the daily food intake.

Body paragraph 2

One treatment that can

be use

Change the verb form

be used

show examples

to fight

this

Linking Words

disease

Use synonyms

exercise

Use synonyms

Exercise

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is a cheap and easy way to cure people with

obesity

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. Because they can practice it

Change preposition

apply

show examples

anytime

Replace the word

any time

show examples

and anywhere they want. Good

exercise

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

has many

benefit

Change to a plural noun

benefits

show examples

not only for

obesity

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but

also

Linking Words

to prevent

other

Change the wording

another disease

other diseases

show examples

disease

Use synonyms

Conclusion

In conclusion,

Obesity

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attack

Fix the agreement mistake

attacks

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all

population

Fix the agreement mistake

populations

show examples

with different

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

and gender. The sedentary

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

can be the main cause of

this

Linking Words

global crisis. On the

otherside

Correct your spelling

other side

, people can prevent and treat

this

Linking Words

disease

Use synonyms

with good

exercise

Use synonyms

sidneynatasha16

May 2, 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

176 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Obesity
Overweight
Epidemic
Sedentary
Processed food
Fast food
Nutritional education
Awareness
Stress
Emotional eating
Genetic factors
Access
Healthy food options
Marketing
Urbanization
Lifestyles

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All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled?

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and wrong so that they can behave well. Others say that teachers should only teach students academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The rise of convenience foods has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern life. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?