IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some TV programs, video of violent games and other leisure activities are harmful to children. How harmful they are ? What can be done to solve these problems ?

#tv #programs #video #games #leisure #activities #children
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In order to build a beautiful society of tomorrow
children
 must be taught good values.
However
,
an
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apply
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easy access to the internet has made today's
children
 more violent,
vigrous
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vigorous
,
restless
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and restless
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beacuse
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because
 of the content shown in the movies,the web series and
few
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a few
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 games. It has
very
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a very
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 destructive effect on the mind of youngsters. Both the negative effects of it and their solutions are
dicussed
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discussed
 in the following paragraphs. There are lots
television
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of television
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 programs and videos available on public platforms like youtube which are quite violent in nature those have
bad
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a bad
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 impact on youngsters.
Children
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Children's
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 mind is very
valunurable
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valuable
vulnerable
,
it
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they
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 will follow what it sees.
Few
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A few
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 films, series,
games
Correct word choice
and games
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includes
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include
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 vulgarity, rape scene,
murder
Correct word choice
and murder
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 scene in order to attract users and youngsters becomes targets of it and
then
 they try to follow which is
very
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a very
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 dangerous sign.
Moreover
,
children
 become habitual of few games and they do not obey
to
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apply
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their parents.
For instance
, "PUBG" a game was banned in India after many
children
 killed themselves after their parents denied them to play
this
 game. To solve these problems,
firstly
, parents must keep
check
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a check
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 on their
children
. Having a child
lock
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locked
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 on tv or protecting their mobile phones, laptops
ans
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and
such
 other gadgets with
password
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passwords
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 in order
keep
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to keep
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 it reach out of
children
 so that do not spend much time on these gadgets
and
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apply
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furthermore
 a time should be fixed for
children
 to play with
electronic
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the electronic
an electronic
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 device.
Secondly
,
government
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the government
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 must have a strict policy for certification tv programs so that unhealthy content of them can be removed from them. In conclusion, Though easy access has
bad
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a bad
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 impact on
thinking
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the thinking
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 of today's youth, it can be overcome by the solutions discussed above. May they are not sufficient enough but they can be helpful
upto
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up to
 a good extent.
Submitted by robinmacwan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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