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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say television contributes more than other modern inventions to the quality of life of ordinary people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #television #inventions #quality #life
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Despite televisions provoking many advantages in
people
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's
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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, I believe there are other products that play more essential roles in upgrading the
quality
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 of
life
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 in the modern world,
such
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 as
computers
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, which derive greater impacts on human societies referring to means of communication and the acquisition of knowledge. To begin with, it is undeniable that
television
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 enriches entertainment activities in
21st
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the 21st
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 century,
people
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 spent a great amount of time watching various shows or news on a daily basis. Compared to traditional newspapers, young individuals are more likely to gain information from
television
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, on top of that, it allows more
people
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 to participate in ongoing events since the content on
television
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 is more understandable than in newspapers.
Moreover
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, watching dramas on
television
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 helps
people
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 release stress after a long day of working and studying, allowing them to escape from reality.
However
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, there are other inventions in the modern world that play essential roles to improve the
quality
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 of
people
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's
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life
Replace the word
lives
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,
such
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 as
computers
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. Unlike
television
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, users have more freedom to select information based on personal preferences.
People
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 are likely to conduct more and more tasks on
computers
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while
Linking Words
 technologies continue to improve, including online shopping, meeting new friends, and completing assignments.
Nonetheless
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, there are many content creators on the internet who provide various videos that fit different groups of audiences compared to most TV programs that serve the majority. To summarise, it is inevitable that televisions alter how
people
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 spent their leisure time, and provide more joy to upgrade the
quality
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 of
people
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's
life
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.
On the other hand
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, there are other inventions that deserve
plaus
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plus
plans
 for making contributions to human societies, including
computers
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 which reshape the
life
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 of
people
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 through and through.
Therefore
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, in my perspective, I do not
agree
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onagree
toagree
withagree
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 the suggestion that televisions play more essential
roles
Fix the agreement mistake
role
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on
Change preposition
in
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 improving the
quality
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 of
life
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 in societies.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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