The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
The chart presented illustrates the average number of weekly time spent performing unpaid working activities,
such
as housekeeping and parenting. The two categories represented are married
women
and
men
. Regarding the first category, it can be appreciated how there is a correlation between the size of the family and the working
hours
. Mothers with three or more offspring spend twice the time working unpaid
hours
as married
women
without kids.
According to
the chart, if a married lady gives birth once or twice times, she can expect to see an increase of 20
hours
on average for
this
kind of labour. Continuing with the second category, the first thing that catches the eye is the difference in working
hours
between the two genders. Married
men
without children work an average of 10
hours
less than their wives. But as soon as children arrive the gap grows and can even reach more than 40
hours
on average. Another important distinction between the two categories is the trend.
While
heir increases
women
's working
hours
, the opposite happens to
men
's.
While
the arrival of the first child does not modify its working routine, from the third one the
hours
drop. In conclusion, it can be stated that
men
and
women
have averagely different working routines inside a marriage.
Submitted by gianfrancosalocchi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, men, hours with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • demographics
  • household responsibilities
  • societal expectations
  • norms
  • childcare
  • housework
  • gardening
  • contributions
  • family structure
  • cultural implications
  • social implications
  • work-life balance
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