The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)

#hours #work #week #people #categories #activities #childcare #home #housework

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The chart presented illustrates the average number of weekly time spent performing unpaid working activities,

such

Linking Words

as housekeeping and parenting. The two categories represented are married

women

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and

men

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. Regarding the first category, it can be appreciated how there is a correlation between the size of the family and the working

hours

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. Mothers with three or more offspring spend twice the time working unpaid

hours

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as married

women

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without kids.

According to

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the chart, if a married lady gives birth once or twice times, she can expect to see an increase of 20

hours

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on average for

this

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kind of labour. Continuing with the second category, the first thing that catches the eye is the difference in working

hours

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between the two genders. Married

men

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without children work an average of 10

hours

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less than their wives. But as soon as children arrive the gap grows and can even reach more than 40

hours

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on average. Another important distinction between the two categories is the trend.

While

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heir increases

women

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's working

hours

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, the opposite happens to

men

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's.

While

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the arrival of the first child does not modify its working routine, from the third one the

hours

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drop. In conclusion, it can be stated that

men

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and

women

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have averagely different working routines inside a marriage.

Submitted by gianfrancosalocchi on Wed May 03 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, men, hours with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

215 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

distribution
demographics
household responsibilities
societal expectations
norms
childcare
housework
gardening
contributions
family structure
cultural implications
social implications
work-life balance

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The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)

It is common that in many companies people from different ages work together in a same team. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantges?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do vou agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?