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Band 5

Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. What is your opinion?

#space #exploration #money
Many
countries
 waste a lot of
money
to explore
Change the verb form
exploring
show examples
 and
investigate
Wrong verb form
investigating
show examples
Space
, though there are more pivotal subjects and categories than searching
space
. There are those who think that governments around the world should prepare and expend bills for more essential things than
researching
Replace the word
research
show examples
 outside of the earth. In my opinion,
money
 should be used for projects which are related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 individuals in the country.
Firstly
,
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 of
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 will be caused in the future, and
this
 would generate serious permanent issues for children. If corporate or governors produce plans and fees for investigations of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
,
likelihood
Correct article usage
the likelihood
show examples
 of
foods
Change the noun form
food
show examples
 starvation cannot be solved by
this
 research,
thus
 humans have to pay for protecting the possibility
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the crucial issues.
According to
 the theses written by
professor
Fix the agreement mistake
professors
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Keio University, nationals would have to import 80%
foods
Change preposition
of foods
show examples
such
 as
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
 and meets from other
countries
 in 2050 in China and India because of
explosion
Add an article
the explosion
an explosion
show examples
 of population. Another key point that I would like to emphasize is the fact that war is happening between Ukraine and Russia, and it is the most critical
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
 which developed
countries
 must resolve,
hence
 they have to pay more
money
 for intervening
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 battle.
For instance
,
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
 prime minister sent only
helmet
Fix the agreement mistake
helmets
show examples
 to Europe
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
, even though he announced to invest rockets. In conclusion, many developed
countries
such
 as Japan,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
, Russia and China utilize their
money
 for understanding
mars
Correct your spelling
Mars
show examples
 and
moons
Correct article usage
the moons
show examples
,
nonetheless
, there are more potential causes that would bother children in 2030.
Therefore
, I think that government must spend
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 preventing these kinds of matters rather than
space
.
Submitted by shimamura0116 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • exorbitant
  • myriad
  • pressing issues
  • allocated
  • advances
  • direct results
  • pave the way
  • uninhabitable
  • inspirational aspects
  • fuels innovation
  • shared goal
  • intellectual capital
  • budget overruns
  • tangible benefits
  • rationale
  • dedicating
  • returns on investment
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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