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Band 4.5

Are celebrities treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy or is the price of their fame an invasion to their private lives?

#celebrities #media #privacy #price #fame #invasion #lives
In today’s flourishing world, movies and series are given mounting attention which eventually means
superstar
Fix the agreement mistake
superstars
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 are in
limelight
Correct article usage
the limelight
show examples
 around the clock. Movie stars and personage ,
therefore
 , are treated contemptuously
due to
 being in the eye of the
media
 continuously. The
media
, like vultures, intrude into their personal lives and disrupt their peace.
The celebrity
Correct article usage
Celebrity
show examples
, like us,
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 deserving of basic rights like privacy. Let us discuss these arguments followed by some feasible solutions in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
 with, famous figures are persistently followed by the
media
 and bothered consistently to appear for pictures. Nobody feels their best self every day, and insecurities creep in as well, but luminary
aren’t
Change the verb form
isn’t
show examples
 spared in
such
 instances too. Putting forth some light on
this
 argument,
this
 paparazzi culture dehumanises the dignitary.
This
 trend should not be normalised. To illustrate it forward, an article published by ‘The Tribune’ stated that
dignitary
Fix the agreement mistake
dignitaries
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 are given heartless treatment if they avoid
media
 and are not in the state to answer their questions.
Furthermore
, these stars are individuals like us too and they equally deserve privacy with their families. To clarify it ahead, famous personalities love to celebrate festivals and special occasions privately and relish the beauty of
such
 moments.To exemplify there was a survey conducted by the National Sample Survey Office (New Delhi) which stated that 100 out of 200
personage
Change to a plural noun
personages
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 celebrate their personal occasion to avoid the intervention of
news
Correct article usage
the news
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 community.
Additionally
, the stardom they earn throughout their life is not a free pass for them to experience an assault on a daily basis at the hands of the
media
 or the citizen. To elucidate, being a public figure can be a jeopardising aspect of their life as it means every action of theirs is out in the public domain.
This
, most of the time, leads to
celebrity
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
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 receiving life-threatening messages from
nation
Add an article
the nation
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.
For instance
, famous Punjabi singer Sidhu Moosewala would always receive death threats and ignore them.
This
 public hatred led to
him
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
 being shot dead. To encapsulate, everyone has the right to live their lives on their own terms. Extensive invasion from publishing and citizens can lead to deteriorating mental health which in turn would do harm to the celeb and their work. I would conclude my argument by saying that one should be free to live and society should be sensible enough to let others live.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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