IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that governments of wealthy countries should take more obligation for assisting impoverished countries in such areas. Now people are beginning to realize that development depends on the joint efforts of a large number of different groups.

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that governments of wealthy
countries
Use synonyms
 should take more
obligation
Check wording
responsibility
show examples
 for assisting impoverished
countries
Use synonyms
 in
such
Linking Words
 areas. Now people are beginning to
realize
Use the right word
realise
show examples
 that development depends on the joint efforts of a large number of different groups. Personally, I tend to think that everyone should assist
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each other in difficult times.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is well known that a large number of rich
lands
Check wording
people
show examples
 have an opportunity to help. What I mean here is that they are able to create distinct events in support of
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
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 society. One of the main reasons behind
that is
Linking Words
 they have a wide range of facilities
due to
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 they may pool their resources and improve lives in impoverished
countries
Use synonyms
. A good case in point is providing jobs for qualified people from economically
backward
Replace the word
backwards
show examples
 nations, so both sides can obtain mutual benefit and
strengthened
Wrong verb form
strengthen
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 their relations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it can
also
Linking Words
 be argued that only rich
countries
Use synonyms
 must be responsible.
That is
Linking Words
 to
say
Add a comma
say,
show examples
 poor nations should aim to become self-sufficient and
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not attempt to rely on
someone
Check wording
anyone
show examples
. Take
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 example, the situation with the
COVID 19
Use the right word
COVID-19
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 pandemic, when the entire world was going through financial turmoil and needed assistance.
Therefore
Linking Words
, poor
countries
Use synonyms
 suffer enormously
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of a competent economy and proper conditions for life
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 what they should do is consider every single detail in the development of the country to escape
such
Linking Words
 terrible circumstances. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final
analysis
Punctuation problem
analysis,
show examples
 we can say that the optimum solution is to provide market access so the region can produce products and obtain regular income.

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structure & clarity
Try to keep one main idea in each paragraph. One idea should lead to the next with clear links.
argument quality
Make your stance clear from start to end. If you argue both sides, finish with a clear chosen view that matches the intro.
examples
Give simple and direct examples that support each point. The COVID example is okay, add one more direct fact or policy idea.
language
Check grammar and tense. Use short, clear sentences and avoid long run-on sentences.
content
You say you want people to help each other.
structure
You use words like Firstly, On the other hand, Therefore, In conclusion, which show you know how to link ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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