IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The table below shows the sales at a small restaurant in a downtoen business district. Summarise the information by by selecting and reporting the the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the sales at a small restaurant in a downtoen business district. Summarise the information by by selecting and reporting the the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#sales #restaurant #downtoen #business #district #summarise #information #features #comparisons
This
 table depicts the spending
money
 on a small restaurant in a downtown business area, from
7th
Correct article usage
the 7th
show examples
 to
13th
Correct article usage
the 13th
show examples
 of October. It is clear from the graph that, Wednesday had the most
sales
 on
theLunch
Correct your spelling
the Lunch
 and the second most
sales
 on the
Dinner
.
According to
 what is shown, on Monday the
sales
 were at $2,400 on The
Lunch
. And on Tuesday the
sales
 slightly increased to $2,450 on the
Lunch
. As for
Wednesday
Add a comma
Wednesday,
show examples
 the spending
money
 on the
Lunch
 was $2,595. Next
this
,is Thursday
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the
sales
 were $2,375 on the
Lunch
.
While
 on Friday the spending
money
 on the
Lunch
 was $2,500. And
although
 Saturday and Sunday are the weekends the
sales
 were at their lowest accounting for $1,950 and $1,550 on the
Lunch
.
On the other hand
, the
sales
 on Monday were $3,623
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
Dinner
. And on Tuesday and
Wednesday
Add a comma
Wednesday,
show examples
 the
sales
 on the
Dinner
 jumped just $227 compared to the
sales
 on Monday reaching $3,850 for each.
Whereas
, on Thursday the
sales
 on the
Dinner
 were $3,800.
Thereafter
, on Friday the spending
money
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 at
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 most on the
Dinner
, accounting for $4,350. And,
finally
, the
sales
 on the
Dinner
 on the weekends
also
 were at their lowest representing $2,900 and $2,450.
To sum up
, we could say that the
sales
 on the
Dinner
 were more than on the
Lunch
 on all the weekdays.
Submitted by asem2017asem2017 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words money, sales, dinner, lunch with synonyms.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!