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Band 5

Tourism has become one of the leading sources of revenue in many countries. Do the advantages of tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

#tourism #sources #revenue #countries
The number of
children
's
responsibilities
 in the modern world were becoming to decline in compared with the past especially, in some regions. from
expert's
Correct article usage
an expert's
show examples
perspectives
Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
show examples
,
this
happened
Add the particle
tohappened
show examples
 have positive aspects for
abilities
Correct article usage
the abilities
show examples
 of
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
in contrast
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 that some of them have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 opposite
standview
Correct your spelling
stand view
Grandview
, In
this
 essay I intend to discuss both of these point
views
Change preposition
of views
show examples
 and say my opinion about them. On the one hand, there are those who subscribe to the view that there are several merits for the decline of
responsibilities
 of
children
. from
this
 point of view, they insist that the best way to transmit
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
data to the mind of
children
 is played without any stress about roles and feedback from parents. they believe if the
children
 are becoming
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 familiar with huge roles
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 able to up
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ward
of
Change preposition
off
show examples
 anxiety of them so, it is very harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 psychology og them
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 in the long run.
Furthermore
, the best way for tutorials
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 morals and loyalty and every
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 create a good plan for the entertainment of them altern give responsible to them.
On the other hand
, many commentators justifiably argue that there are some positive aspects when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 have a response from toddler age. They assume that if the learner of
children
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
different
Change preposition
on different
show examples
responsibilities
 to them, they are able to prepare for the bigger position in the future. in
this
 situation, they are able to learn several things
their
Change preposition
from their
show examples
 mistake of themselves and it is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
highly beneficial for their abilities of them. In conclusion,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 there are some merits from
responsibilities
 of that, I strongly agree the negative aspects of that are far more because the young generation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 willing to learn through fun
action
Replace the word
activities
show examples
instead
 of getting stress and compulsory for dou=ing some roles.
Submitted by amirhsina on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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