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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of library books read by boys and girls at Starmouth School from 2009 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of library books read by boys and girls at Starmouth School from 2009 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph indicates the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of library
books
Use synonyms
 that were read by male and female minors at Starmouth School between 2009 and 2012. In 2009 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 read by
boys
Use synonyms
 was twice as much as the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
books
Use synonyms
 read by
girls
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 trend continued to grow for the next year. The
number
Use synonyms
 increased from 50 to 80
books
Use synonyms
 for
boys
Use synonyms
 and for
girls
Use synonyms
 the figure changed from 25 to 40 units. In 2011 there was a dramatic increase.
Books
Use synonyms
 that
girls
Use synonyms
 read reached the point of 100, at the same period of time
boys
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 peaked at the same
number
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 as females. For the following
year
Add a comma
,year
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 the pattern was changed
due to
Linking Words
 the stable growth in
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
books
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 that
girls
Use synonyms
 read. Amount of
books
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 read by
boys
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 fell noticeably from 100 to 80 units.
Overall
Linking Words
,
girls
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 managed to surpass the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of read
books
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 even with the difference in two times with
boys
Use synonyms
 at the beginning of the graph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, number, boys, girls with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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