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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebration while others think it is a waste of money.DiScuss both views

#people #money #celebration #waste
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Celebration seems
as
Change preposition
like
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 a festival because of the way they are performed and a way of bringing
people
Use synonyms
 together.majority believe that it is paramount to spend lavishly on a family celebration
while
Linking Words
 others
believes
Change the verb form
believe
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otherwise
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and my notion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand,many think it is important to spend too much
money
Use synonyms
 on family
occasion
Fix the agreement mistake
occasions
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.
This
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 is because these days,
people
Use synonyms
 rarely get
time
Use synonyms
 to be with each other and it is through family ceremony they spend
time
Use synonyms
 together.
For instance
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, an uncle of mine who lives in
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
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 country comes home
every
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to every
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 family gathering to spend
time
Use synonyms
 with the family and he
spend
Change the verb form
spends
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 a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 whenever he is around.
hence
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 there is
need
Correct article usage
a need
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 to spend
time
Use synonyms
 with the family
On the other hand
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, others think
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
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 a family celebration is a waste of
time
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is because
of
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apply
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some family occasion is just one day and
people
Use synonyms
 at times spend a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 which can be for donations rather than spending it lavishly.
Also
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 if too much
money
Use synonyms
is spend
Change the verb form
is spent
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 like that
people
Use synonyms
 will not have any
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
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 for themselves
at the end
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 of the family gathering.
In addition
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, their standard of living may decrease and will not be able to cope with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern society. In conclusion,a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 debate whether
money
Use synonyms
 should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
be spending
show examples
 extravagantly or not
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the above reasons
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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