IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Pie charts shows the electricity production in France and Australia in 1980 and 2000.

Pie charts shows the electricity production in France and Australia in 1980 and 2000.
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To begin
Linking Words
, the pie charts provide information on the production of
electricity
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 by different sources of fuel, in
Australia
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 and
France
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, in 1980 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
Australia
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, the number of
electricity
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units
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 produced increased from 100
units
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 to 170
units
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, in 1980 and 2000 respectively ,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
France
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, the value got almost doubled by 2000, compared to the amount of
electricity
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 generated 20 years earlier. First and foremost, in
Australia
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, the
units
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 of
electricity
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 produced by coal had more than doubled in 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, coal was the main energy source in
Australia
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 in
both
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 years.
However
Linking Words
, the usage of oil decreased by 8
units
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 in the year 2000. In 1980, the demand for natural gases had doubled to that of oil but, in 2000, the usage of
both
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 sources had reduced significantly.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in
France
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,the main fuel sources were coal and natural gases in 1980, with a value of 25
units
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 each. Over a 20-year period of time, the demand for oil in the field of
electricity
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 generation
,
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apply
show examples
 had slightly improved
whereas
Linking Words
, the usage of natural gases showed a downward trend. In 2000, nuclear power was the most prominent source in
France
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, with 126
units
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 out of 180
units
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 in total. In conclusion, the number of
electricity
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units
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 generated
,
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apply
show examples
 shows an upward trend in
both
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 countries over time.
However
Linking Words
, in
Australia
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, coal was the main contributor in
both
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 1980 and 2000,
while
Linking Words
 in
France
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, nuclear power had become the main source by the year 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, australia, france, units, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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