Something that is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

It is argued that participation in outdoor activities rather than playing on internet platforms is the most crucial thing. It is undeniable.

However

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, I think both are important in their own ways.

This

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essay will draw both sides and my conclusion.

Body · 1

First of all, there is no denying that playing outside enterprise has not only benefited the children's health but

also

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boost their self-esteem and confidence.

For example

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, whenever kids engage in physical games, they will release their energy and any negative feeling.

Moreover

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, they will develop social skills which can be beneficial in the future. Not only that but

also

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, will grow much stronger relationships with other people.

As a result

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of that, youngsters will not fall for loneliness like those who stay at home on computers.

According to

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a recent survey in the UK, 40% of young people became lonely because of staying indoors rather than taking part in action with groups of the same age.

Body · 2

On the other hand

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, playing games has its own merits.

To begin

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with, if someone plays video games, they will adopt the ability to solve real-life problems.

For instance

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, playing Uncharted or GTA puts the character in a difficult position and has to think of a solution, which will affect kids' minds significantly.

Additionally

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, they are using modern technology at an early age, so they will have expanded knowledge about how electronic gadgets are used.

Therefore

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, it will be easier for them to learn new software relating to their future job.

Conclusion

To sum up

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, I believe that doing outdoor movement takes part in a vital role in enhancing children's life.

Although

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, anything can be great but only in moderation.

Thus

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, caution should be adopted.

shxxx2003

May 6, 2023

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Something that is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?

Some people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging the products they sell. Others say that consumers should avoid buying products which have a lof of packaging. Discuss both views

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Some educationist think that international exchange visit will benefit teenagers at school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?