Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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A number of children waste time
for
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on
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theirs
Correct the word
their
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mobile
phones
Use synonyms
in
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apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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daily.
This
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essay
discuss
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discusses
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using mobile
phones
Use synonyms
positive and negative sides.In my
opinion
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,opinion
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the statement
have
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has
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many
drawback
Change to a plural noun
drawbacks
show examples
. Students using mobile
phones
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have many benefits.
For example
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, nowadays pupils learn new technology on sites
such
Linking Words
as Khan
academy
Correct your spelling
Academy
show examples
and others.
Moreover
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,
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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new technology have many benefit
their
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for their
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country and family.
Secondly
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, they will learn on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
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a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money for their family and other things.
As well as
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learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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technology
improve
Fix the infinitive
to improve
show examples
their educational skills and help their brain. And there are many drawbacks
using
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to using
show examples
mobile
phones
Use synonyms
.If pupils continue using mobile
phones
Use synonyms
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
have a physical and physiological
deases
Correct your spelling
diseases
.So parents avoid their sons using smartphones.
Secondly
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,
Correct article usage
the smarphone
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smarphone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
screen is very bright and harmful.
Thus
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students
using
Wrong verb form
use
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mobile
phones
Use synonyms
only for studies.If
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
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continued using smartphones very much
theirs
Correct pronoun usage
their
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eyes blind. In conclusion,using mobile
phones
Use synonyms
very
Add a missing verb
has very
show examples
bad effects
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
pupils.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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