Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara or the Antartic, What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

It is true that with the development of networks and smart mobile phones, having an adventure to those far away and tough

places

Use synonyms

can be much more convenient than before. In my view, visiting a poor-conditioned district is pretty interesting, but

also

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along with

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life danger. On the one hand, we cannot deny that exploring nature can benefit us a lot, especially

Use synonyms

places

Change preposition

in places

show examples

that very few human beings have ever footed,

such

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as the Sahara desert.

Firstly

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, taking an adventure like

this

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can give us confidence, feeling like a huge achievement we have made.

Secondly

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, the

less

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fewer

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people ever

been

Wrong verb form

are

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, the more attractive it would be. Human beings have the desire to have a look at those mysterious

places

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Finally

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places

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with difficult conditions are always beautiful, less polluted, and less modern, because being undeveloped in a sense means that the original beauty of the scenery is largely preserved.

On the other hand

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, serious danger may hide in beautiful scenes. We see news of tragedy every year. During those adventures, people may face

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

extreme

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

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such

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shortage

Correct article usage

a shortage

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of water and food, which are basic life supplies.

Besides

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, very high or low

temperature

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temperatures

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can cause dangerous results,

even

Correct word choice

and even

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endanger life. Most importantly, the signal can be poor in those far away

places

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Connection

Add an article

The connection

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between us and

modern

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the modern

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world may be cut suddenly, which not only can let us lose direction, but

also

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causes huge trouble on emergency calls when we face dangers. In a word, these dangerous situations may occur to any adventurers, even if they had taken the professional course before the visit. In conclusion, taking adventure to far away

places

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would be fun, but we should not dismiss the dangerous factors behind it.

jamiejin0

May 7, 2023

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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