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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#visitors #attractions
It is claimed that tourists ought to be charged more entrance
fees
 than local people
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they visit historic places
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
country
. In my point of view, I could not agree anymore with that since the tourism industry is one of the most important sectors for a
country
. In many
countries
,
ticket
fees
 for tourist attractions
such
 as pagodas, palaces, and historic buildings are different between foreigners and locals, which means the
ticket
fees
 for
visitors
 from other
nations
 are more expensive. That’s why it is argued that foreign
visitors
 should be charged equally. Why saying so is that the more tourists visit, the more promotion for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism a
country
 can get. By doing so, a nation can earn more foreign currency and be well-known by other
nations
.
Therefore
, a
country
 can gain a higher number of foreign
visitors
 which can boost its earnings from them by reducing
ticket
fees
 for tourists.
On the other hand
,
visitors
 from other
nations
 do not need to pay
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 as the public from that
country
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
.
Thus
, it is fair to ask
extra
Change preposition
for extra
show examples
ticket
fees
 from them since the government costs a lot to maintain historic places to be unspoiled. That’s why it is vital to cover those budgets from the
visitors
 who do not pay taxes.
Moreover
, for some developing
countries
, they do not have much GDP and they have to depend on the budget from the
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 industry. So it is really crucial for them to earn much more than the
countries
 which have higher GDP since they can gain money from other
nations
 by exporting their goods. In conclusion, I agree that
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 from other
countries
 should pay more than people from
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 home
country
 since they need to pay taxes to the government. The more budget gain from the
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 sector, the better for a
country
.
Submitted by pyaekyitharchaw884 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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