IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#visitors #attractions
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It is claimed that tourists ought to be charged more entrance
fees
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 than local people
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
when
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 they visit historic places
of
Change preposition
in
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 the
country
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. In my point of view, I could not agree anymore with that since the tourism industry is one of the most important sectors for a
country
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. In many
countries
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,
ticket
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fees
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 for tourist attractions
such
Linking Words
 as pagodas, palaces, and historic buildings are different between foreigners and locals, which means the
ticket
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fees
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 for
visitors
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 from other
nations
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 are more expensive. That’s why it is argued that foreign
visitors
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 should be charged equally. Why saying so is that the more tourists visit, the more promotion for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourism a
country
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 can get. By doing so, a nation can earn more foreign currency and be well-known by other
nations
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a
country
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 can gain a higher number of foreign
visitors
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 which can boost its earnings from them by reducing
ticket
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fees
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 for tourists.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
visitors
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 from other
nations
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 do not need to pay
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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 as the public from that
country
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do
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does
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is fair to ask
extra
Change preposition
for extra
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ticket
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fees
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 from them since the government costs a lot to maintain historic places to be unspoiled. That’s why it is vital to cover those budgets from the
visitors
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 who do not pay taxes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, for some developing
countries
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, they do not have much GDP and they have to depend on the budget from the
traveling
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travelling
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 industry. So it is really crucial for them to earn much more than the
countries
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 which have higher GDP since they can gain money from other
nations
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 by exporting their goods. In conclusion, I agree that
travelers
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travellers
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 from other
countries
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 should pay more than people from
the
Change the word
their
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 home
country
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 since they need to pay taxes to the government. The more budget gain from the
traveling
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travelling
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 sector, the better for a
country
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.
Submitted by pyaekyitharchaw884 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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