IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that governments should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #governments #money #science #subjects #country #progress
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It is a common belief that governments have a responsibility for investing more
money
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 in teaching
science
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 than other
subjects
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 for a
country
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's
progress
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.
However
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, there is a more persuasive argument that investing more
money
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 in teaching
science
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 is not desirable for a
country
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.
This
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 is because biased investing could damage the rights of students' selection, and cause inefficiency.
To begin
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 with, investing more
money
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 in teaching
science
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 could derive the chance of experiencing many
subjects
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 equally. The students should receive a well-rounded
education
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 in school. Investment in teaching
science
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 could cause less investment in other
subjects
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. A recent study shows that the people who got a well-rounded
education
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 tend to decide their major or jobs easily, because of having enough chances to study various
subjects
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 equally in their school hood. On top of that, it is inefficient for governments to invest more
money
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 in teaching
science
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 for a
country
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's development. The time that investment in
science
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 is needed for a
country
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's
progress
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 is when the small company makes new products by studying
science
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 for a long time. Studying
science
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 at a high level of
education
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,
such
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 as undergraduate, or inventing a new product really leads to a
country
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's
progress
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 or development.
For instance
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, in Korea, the government invests more
money
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 in studying and producing Covid-19 diagnosing kits, and it helps many scientists contribute to the
country
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's
progress
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.
To sum up
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, I disagree with the idea that the government should invest more
money
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 in teaching
science
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 than other
subjects
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 for two reasons.
This
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 is because the students have the right to receive a well-rounded
education
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 and investing in commercializing scientific ideas is a more efficient way to a
country
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's
progress
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 than investing in teaching
science
Use synonyms
Submitted by bebuls on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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