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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that governments should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #governments #money #science #subjects #country #progress
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It is a common belief that governments have a responsibility for investing more
money
 in teaching
science
 than other
subjects
 for a
country
's
progress
.
However
, there is a more persuasive argument that investing more
money
 in teaching
science
 is not desirable for a
country
.
This
 is because biased investing could damage the rights of students' selection, and cause inefficiency.
To begin
 with, investing more
money
 in teaching
science
 could derive the chance of experiencing many
subjects
 equally. The students should receive a well-rounded
education
 in school. Investment in teaching
science
 could cause less investment in other
subjects
. A recent study shows that the people who got a well-rounded
education
 tend to decide their major or jobs easily, because of having enough chances to study various
subjects
 equally in their school hood. On top of that, it is inefficient for governments to invest more
money
 in teaching
science
 for a
country
's development. The time that investment in
science
 is needed for a
country
's
progress
 is when the small company makes new products by studying
science
 for a long time. Studying
science
 at a high level of
education
,
such
 as undergraduate, or inventing a new product really leads to a
country
's
progress
 or development.
For instance
, in Korea, the government invests more
money
 in studying and producing Covid-19 diagnosing kits, and it helps many scientists contribute to the
country
's
progress
.
To sum up
, I disagree with the idea that the government should invest more
money
 in teaching
science
 than other
subjects
 for two reasons.
This
 is because the students have the right to receive a well-rounded
education
 and investing in commercializing scientific ideas is a more efficient way to a
country
's
progress
 than investing in teaching
science
Submitted by bebuls on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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