In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #foods #food #effect #families #societies

In most countries all over the world, little by little people are replacing international fast

foods

with traditional

foods

that

maybe

Correct your spelling

may

show examples

have a negative impact on both families and society. I will discuss

this

statement, and

then

give my own opinion. We all know

this

truth we live in a world where everything goes on rapidly.

Time

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and technology

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

in a rush

thus

people should justify their own pace with the speed of living in

this

world. So people have no choice when they are at work during the day,

then

go to the gym, after all

this

they are

Rephrase

too

show examples

tired to stand in the kitchen for several hours and cook healthy food.

On the other hand

, I completely believe that eating junk food most days has many terrible effects on people’s lives. First of all, fast

foods

have no nutritive ingredients so will harm the body, if you eat fast

foods

all the

time

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

this

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

so many problems and disorders like diabetes and obesity during a

time

Second,

Families have a spiritual need to spend

time

together during the day and making dinner with each other is a very

suit

Correct your spelling

suitable

show examples

and good way to spend some

time

together, talk to each other,

having

Wrong verb form

and have

show examples

fun

besides

that they eat healthy food. In conclusion, I totally agree with the given statement because giving preference to eating international fast

foods

leads to the highest cost

as well as

health issues.

Submitted by samiraazizzadeh93 on Mon May 08 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

There is some logical organization in the essay, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed. The transition between ideas and paragraphs needs improvement for better coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In poor families, teenagers may have to work part-time as well as study. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this for these teenagers.

-Some people claim that not enough of the waste from home is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste.

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

In most of the countries of the word youngsters are involved in some kind of paid work. People have different view about it: some think it is completely wrong, while other believe it is a valuable work experience. Discuss both views.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages fo this situation outweigh the disadvantages?