In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #foods #food #effect #families #societies

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In most countries all over the world, little by little people are replacing international fast

foods

Use synonyms

with traditional

foods

Use synonyms

that

maybe

Correct your spelling

may

show examples

have a negative impact on both families and society. I will discuss

this

Linking Words

statement, and

then

Linking Words

give my own opinion. We all know

this

Linking Words

truth we live in a world where everything goes on rapidly.

Time

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and technology

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

in a rush

thus

Linking Words

people should justify their own pace with the speed of living in

this

Linking Words

world. So people have no choice when they are at work during the day,

then

Linking Words

go to the gym, after all

this

Linking Words

they are

Rephrase

too

show examples

tired to stand in the kitchen for several hours and cook healthy food.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I completely believe that eating junk food most days has many terrible effects on people’s lives. First of all, fast

foods

Use synonyms

have no nutritive ingredients so will harm the body, if you eat fast

foods

Use synonyms

all the

time

Use synonyms

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

so many problems and disorders like diabetes and obesity during a

time

Use synonyms

Second,

Linking Words

Families have a spiritual need to spend

time

Use synonyms

together during the day and making dinner with each other is a very

suit

Correct your spelling

suitable

show examples

and good way to spend some

time

Use synonyms

together, talk to each other,

having

Wrong verb form

and have

show examples

fun

besides

Linking Words

that they eat healthy food. In conclusion, I totally agree with the given statement because giving preference to eating international fast

foods

Use synonyms

leads to the highest cost

as well as

Linking Words

health issues.

Submitted by samiraazizzadeh93 on Mon May 08 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the prompt partially, but some ideas are not fully developed or well-explained. More specific examples and evidence are needed to support the main points.

Coherence and Cohesion

There is some logical organization in the essay, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed. The transition between ideas and paragraphs needs improvement for better coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
thenumber of children that read books for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years.What are the reasons and how can we encourage children to read more
There is a problem occured nowadays which children refuse to read books as a fun activity. I believe that this problem is rooted from the change of era, especially with the fast distribution of technology.
4
band
In many countries, children are overweight and un healthy.Some people think the government should be held accountable.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Overweight is definitly unhealthy and bad for many reasons. The government does have protocols in school and college for kids and teenagers to not become overweight and be healthy. And it does have stuff like tv shows and facilities for them to do what's right for their own health. So they should'nt be accountable for children being overweight.
5
band
Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crimes” Discuss both views and give your opinion. Show ideas and vocabulary / Find essays with the same topic / Report
As a matter of fact, it's necessary to tackle with crimes in a society in a preventive and effective way. Therefore thinking deeply about it seems quite logical and guarantees more peace in our societies. Focusing on lengthening prison sentences doesn't ensure a better outcome, given that many criminals get even more obsessed and/or professional by being kept in prison for longer periods. Obviously the more creative our solution is, the more satisfactory the results will be. So, considering the defects in our education systems and weaknesses of our social services, a wise alternative will be a more promising option. Compensation is still necessary though, in some cases, but generally speaking, a significant percent of crimes taken place, could be prevented if more comprehensive measures would be taken into account. Some philosophers and researchers of social sciences believe that we could wrap up this discussion by paying enough attention to 3 key factors of divine culture in every ...
5.5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are renting a flat from an agency. Your contract was for one year but you need to leave the flat two months early. Write a letter to the agency. In your letter * introduce yourself * ask to leave the flat before the contract finishes * explain why you need to break the contract.
Hello MR Osama ,I hope you are doing well . I am Osama Mezal who rented your flat 10 months ago , I got some problems in this city ,Therefore, I would like to leave earlier two months than the contract .
4
band
Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. To what extent to you agree or disagree?
Some people would say that companies and people should pay environmental fees as much pollution as they have produced. I agree with some part of this statement because everyone should take responsibilities. However, I don't think money can solve this problem.

In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

thenumber of children that read books for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years.What are the reasons and how can we encourage children to read more

In many countries, children are overweight and un healthy.Some people think the government should be held accountable.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crimes” Discuss both views and give your opinion. Show ideas and vocabulary / Find essays with the same topic / Report

Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. To what extent to you agree or disagree?