IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The government 's investment in art, music and theatre is a waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public services instead.To what extent do you agree with this statement.

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The
Correct article usage
Government
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government
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 spending on
arts
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 has long been a contentious issue. Many counter the idea of
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 incurring expenses to promote
arts
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.
However
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, I feel governments should continue to spend money on
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
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.
This
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 will be argued by analysing how
arts
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 can contribute to a country’s economy
as well as
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 serve as a platform to achieve one’s goals.
Firstly
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,
arts
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such
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 as music and theatre are steady sources of income for a country. A case in point would be New Zealand, where the
government
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 supports new
artists
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 by lending them money to kick-start their careers, which in turn enables the state to collect taxes on the revenue earned by these
artists
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.
This
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 stream of income would be lost if there’s no spending to foster local
artists
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.
Hence
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it is clear that
Linking Words
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
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 are vital for a country’s economic health rather than being a liability to it.
Secondly
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, having a decent infrastructure for creative industries would mean
realisation
Add an article
the realisation
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 of
dreams
Correct article usage
the dreams
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 of millions who wish to be
artists
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.
For instance
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, in the UK, a person could choose to adopt
arts
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 as a career path, enabling him or her to earn a fair livelihood, rather than having to reluctantly pick a profession that he or she does not feel passionate about. A state where the
government
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 doesn’t invest in
arts
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 would most likely prevent people to go after what they long for, resulting in frustration on the part of people.
Therefore
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arts
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 play an important part in
contentedness
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the contentedness
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 of the individuals of a nation. In summary, the
government
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 should continue to devote resources to
arts
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 since
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 significance in a country’s tax system and bringing happiness to people should not be underestimated.

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