8.) The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree with this idea?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Currently, individuals lack driving responsibility despite many governments trying to solve the issues,

therefore

Linking Words

someone

Correct your spelling

some

show examples

criticizes

Correct subject-verb agreement

criticize

show examples

that punishments should be stricter. I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

statement. At ,first glance, if the existence of stricter punishment does appear, more responsibility,

as well as

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attention,

as well as

Linking Words

attention will be shown to the driving law.

Linking Words

Whereas

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, Some of the individuals lack responsibility which is the primary requirement,

therefore

Linking Words

, they repeat the error several times.

For instance

Linking Words

, numerous cases of accidents in Thailand revealed that a number of drivers aren't aware of the punishment because they end up paying the fee.

Moreover

Linking Words

, bribing the officers

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

been the solution for the alleged offender to avoid staying in jail.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I believe that there are alternative ways to improve the safety of our roads.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the priority thing that the driver must realize is the safety of people on the road and the law,

thus

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, every transportation office should have stricter training for people who attend a driving license exam.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the government should destroy the bribing system so the

victim

Fix the agreement mistake

victims

show examples

can receive the justice they should receive.

Finally

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, nowadays the telephone is another society factor four,

thus

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, the driver mustn't use the telephone

while

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driving so

this

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can be another solution to

this

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issue. In conclusion, I partially agree with

this

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statement but stricter punishments aren't the solution to

this

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problem. Alternative ways to improve the safety of our roads exist,

therefore

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, the government must step by step to solve

this

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problem.

amittawinTue May 09 2023

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task achievement

Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your position on the statement. Consider restructuring it to state your agreement or disagreement more decisively. Additionally, try to rephrase the question in your introduction to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure that your main points are organized logically and that there's a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay. Consider using more cohesive devices to link your ideas together and improve the flow of your arguments.

task achievement

Expand your examples to support your arguments. The example of Thailand lacks depth; consider adding more details or a statistic to strengthen your point about awareness of punishment. This will help demonstrate your argument more effectively.

task achievement

Your essay presents multiple viewpoints, which demonstrates critical thinking about the issue of road safety.

task achievement

You raised valid alternative solutions that show an understanding of the complexity of the problem, which is commendable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

punishment
driving offenses
road safety
deterrent
reckless driving
educational programs
law enforcement
consequences
infrastructure
public transportation
vehicle safety standards
substance abuse
traffic laws
dangerous driving habits
long-term effectiveness

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8.) The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree with this idea?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? What can employers do to make their employees’ life easier?

Computers are becoming an integral part of education system. Some people believe it might lead to positive outcome while others think otherwise. What are the advantages and disadvantages.

Some people say that the best way to improve the overall general health of the public is to offer more sports facilities. Others say that this would have little effect and other measure are necessary to improve public health. Discuss both views.

Now a days more and more people are migrating to developed countries for higher education and better employment opportunities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this type of migration?