People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individuals and people around them?

#people #reason #effects #individuals

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this

Linking Words

day and age, individuals

take

Verb problem

get

show examples

sufficient sleep in their life span as compared to the past. Because of the latest technology

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

such

Linking Words

as mobile phones and has many Detroit effects on their health. I will articulate their causes and give feasible reasons for

this

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new trend in individuals. To commence with, one significant factor for

this

Linking Words

new trend of

taking

Verb problem

getting

show examples

enough sleep because of the latest innovations

such

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as smart gadgets. They

fascinated

Wrong verb form

fascinate

show examples

society and engage them on social apps and they always want to become active on Instagram or Facebook.

For instance

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, the new generation becoming night owls they prefer to sleep in the morning time and sometimes

due to

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a hectic study , routine they do not

take

Verb problem

get

show examples

proper sleep.

Thus

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due to

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social activities scratched their proper sleep.

Secondly

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, most of the students have been studying tough subjects

such

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as medicine or technology and get bundles of assignments and presentations. They almost spend

their

Correct determiner usage

all their

show examples

time completing the task and gaining high marks on final exams. There are numerous effects on the human body from the deprivation of sleep.

Firstly

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, their minds are not working properly like the others who get their proper sleep. The rate of dopamine decreases and leads to chronic and acute diseases

such

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as headaches and anxiety. In conclusion,

this

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new trend of not having proper sleep in their lives

due to

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excessive use of social apps leads to health problems

such

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as eye side weak and physical problems

such

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as depression and illness.

Submitted by aqsagoraya9 on Tue May 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that your introduction, body, and conclusion are well-linked and that your arguments are clearly presented in a coherent manner.

task achievement

Provide a more complete and comprehensive response to the task. Ensure that you address all aspects of the topic and provide relevant specific examples to support your ideas.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use appropriate terminology to express your ideas more precisely. Work on using a more varied and nuanced vocabulary throughout the essay.

grammatical range

Pay more attention to the accuracy and variety of your sentence structures. Use a wider range of grammatical structures and ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individuals and people around them?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

User Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial, perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what rneasures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of the private health care outweigh the advantages?