The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.
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The pie charts compare the differences in
boys
’ and
girls
’ choices of cultural and recreational
activities
from the output of a survey. The left picture depicts the structure of the main
activities
that
boys
join
while
the right one illustrates the structure of preferred
activities
which the
girls
join. In general, the
boys
like to spend time on some strong sports
such
as football and basketball or indoor action
such
as computer games
while
the
girls
choose several light forms
such
as dancing and reading to relax. With outdoor
activities
, 26% of the
boys
in the survey choose basketball to join and 17% of them want to play soccer.
Conversely
, 27 % of the
girls
answered that they prefer dancing and 15% of them decided to play netball to let their hair down. Skateboarding and Gymnastics are two types of sports
activities
selected to play less by respectively
boys
and
girls
with 11% both. With indoor
activities
, more than one-third of the
boys
have the tendency to play computer games, accounting for 34%
while
the figure of the
girls
playing computer games is 16%. More than one-fifth of the
girls
in the survey choose reading books as a leisure activity at home, accounting for 21%
while
the figure of the
boys
reading books is the least with 2%. Listening to music is the indoor activity chosen by both
boys
and
girls
with the same rate of 10 %.
Submitted by joyce.ta213 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such, while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, boys, girls with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • cultural activities
  • leisure activities
  • participate
  • percentage
  • gender difference
  • similar participation rates
  • traditional gender roles
  • trends
  • impact
  • parental influence
  • extracurricular activities
  • accessible
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