the government’s investment in arts, music and drama is a waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public health services instead. To what extend do you agree with this statement.
In our today’s modern life, each government has a major role to use its authority and strengthen a fundamental organization in societies. Regarding
this
, some believe health
instruction should be funded while
investment in activities like art and play should be ignored. I tend to agree to
somehow Change preposition
apply
although
there is no contradiction to invest
in both sides.
Wrong verb form
investing
To begin
with, the government subsidizing the health
care system can insure some vulnerable groups such
as children, the elderly and disabled people. This
can enormously decrease their financial anxiety and improve the mental security of society. Moreover
, with the provision of clinical treatment, the welfare of the public can be improved; therefore
, we can see the
society in prosperity.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, living in today’s world where our lives have become too hectic and stressful, having some choices that make fun for
us is necessary. In fact, Change preposition
of
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
such
as art, music and drama can widely entertain us. They can be meditative as well; for example
, when people spare time to go and visit a fascinating theatre or concert, they can empty the mind from
thoughts and give a feeling of relief. Change preposition
of
Hence
, investing in these hobbies can improve health
and happiness of society and prevent mental and physical illnesses.
Correct article usage
the health
To sum up
, despite all the benefits with
having a powerful Change preposition
of
health
service that can guarantee mental
safety of folk and increase advantaged groups, spending money on mentioned activities by the government can hugely contribute to the well-being of the communities and they can give power to each other.Correct article usage
the mental
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