IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Nowadays many people choose two bases self employed rather than to work para company organization do the advantages of being self employed out with the disadvantages

#people #two #bases #self #work #para #company #organization
In
this
 day and out most people prefer to work independently
instead
working
Change preposition
of working
show examples
 under companies are organisations. I think
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 demerits are
overwhelming
Correct quantifier usage
more overwhelming
show examples
 than
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
. I will discuss both in a forthcoming paragraph. To commence with, most of the community set up their own business because
self-employed
Add a missing verb
being self-employed
show examples
 offers great freedom. To be more precise, in self-employed
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 individual can without the pressure of a boss and not stick to following the rules and regulations of a company. He does his
struggle
Correct subject-verb agreement
struggles
show examples
 without the fear of completing the tasks under limited time periods.
While
 on the flip side, there are numerous cons for self-employed.
Firstly
, an employee has a more stable career than an independent body. He has good career opportunities in his jobs time and after his retirement.
companies
Correct your spelling
Companies
show examples
 give them life insurance and pension for themselves and for their families
while
 self-employed people don't have
such
 type of opportunities in self-business.
Thirdly
, working under a company
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 individual gets new skills and polished his old skills and used them in any field of life without the fear of financial issues. Companies promote their post after a year and
also
 gradually increased their salaries. In a nutshell, setting up a business gives a human self-satisfaction and mental peace in doing
effort
Correct article usage
an effort
show examples
 without any restrictions and rules but it has many disadvantages like fear of financial support, teamwork and career opportunities.
Submitted by aqsagoraya9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: