IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#families #children #schools #taxes #support #education #system
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There has been much discussion surrounding
taxes
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. It is believed that parents of children attending private
shools
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schools
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 have no responsibility to pay levies that support the state
education
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 system. Personally, I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea
due to
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 some reasons There are some differences
of
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in
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 reducing
taxes
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 for
people
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 who choose private
schools
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.
Firstly
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, it is
such
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 a challenge to calculate the amount of tax discount.
This
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 is because if
people
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 have to pay
Add an article
the separated
a separated
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separated
Replace the word
separate
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of money without
reasonabilty
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reasonable
reasonability
, it will result in resentment and lack of trust in
government
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the government
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.
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
 can
also
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 widen the gap between the rich and the poor. If
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wealthy families sending their children to private
schools
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 get a tax reduction, they will pay less than parents with low financial ability.
As a result
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, poor
people
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 still have burdens of school fees that the wealthy do not have.
In addition
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, because of the contribution to
education
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 through
taxes
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 of individuals, all members of
the
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apply
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society can be beneficial. The more
people
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 pay the money
supporting
Wrong verb form
support
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 public
schools
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 , the higher
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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education
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 system there is.
Belong
Wrong verb form
Belonging
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 with the well-funded
education
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 system, it is claimed that there will be more equal opportunities for the young to get access to decent universities and seek a good
job
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jobs
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.
As a result
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, there will be a more well-educated workforce and
well qualified
Add a hyphen
well-qualified
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, competent staff, which is a huge advantage for companies which belongs to the wealthy classes.
Due to
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this
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, the nation can be more productive and prosperous. It is so obvious that there are a
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
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 of benefits
from
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to
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 not decreasing
taxes
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in
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on
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education
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 In conclusion, I completely oppose the idea that parents of children in private
schools
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 should not be required to contribute to public
schools
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 through levies because it will cause a number of problems.
Submitted by Minh Hà on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
What to do next:
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