These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

With the increase of careers women have switched
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
household roles which are inclined to be done by
mothers
, but lately, it has been
also
undertaken by
fathers
.
This
essay will elucidate in detail some reasons for
this
trend, and I reckon
this
has brought a new positive perspective for a family. Nowadays, some couples arrange their house chores, especially for those who have kids which are genuinely different from conventional ones
due to
some reasons. First and foremost is a better financial opportunity, it is undeniable that some
mothers
have
a good careers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good career
good careers
show examples
in the workplace, and they are possible to earn more income than
fathers
.
However
, since
mothers
are going outside to support their household needs,
parents
must decide who will stay at home to look after their children.
This
is
Correct article usage
a strongly
show examples
strongly
Change the adverb
strong
show examples
factor because the involvement of
parents
, required
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
development either
mothers
or
fathers
, cannot be replaced by someone else in the house.
Therefore
, it is not uncommon that male
parents
are
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
embroiled
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
domestic work, particularly in parenting.
This
exchange role is probably a novelty in marriage life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and will be debatable for opponents.
Nevertheless
, I believe
this
phenomenon is a positive development in some perspectives. To exemplify
this
, presently, women have other choices
rether
Correct your spelling
rather
other
than being a housewife, and they
also
have huge chances to chase the pinnacle of their careers. Other than that,
fathers
’ choice to stay at home is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
alternative
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
hiring a childminder because their kids will age better if their
parents
directly supervise them in their growth and development as same as their hopes. Against
this
backdrop, I argue that the popularity of
fathers
staying at home to carry out domestic things,
while
mothers
go to
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
positive evolution where there is no barrier between the roles of female and male
parents
. They are a pair who
complates
Correct your spelling
completes
each other.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: