Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, the museum has become one of the most popular destinations for the tourism industry. Since
then
, many of them adopt
an amount of Wrong verb form
have adopted
money
as entrance fees for visitors, in contrast
, many of them do not have visiting fees. In this
essay, I will explain in detail why I believe the advantages of taking money
from regular people are more than its drawbacks.
First of all, I admit the benefits of receiving money
from visitors are more than their negative sides because there are some expenses which must be paid for maintaining the history of the country such
as staff wages, security, repairing old buildings, and recruiting experts to guide tourists. Therefore
, it is a vital part of the cultural segment to obtain sums from explorers. For example
, many experts are hired in Louvre
to take care of their ancient remains. The other reason, when people pay for something, they value Correct article usage
the Louvre
more
Correct pronoun usage
it more
on
Change preposition
apply
that
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Thus
, it is a necessity for the museum authorities to catch an amount.
On the other hand
, there are a few disadvantages to getting money
from the deprived archaeologists who regularly visit these places to investigate a specific topic. Financial limitation curbs them to go
to museums to conduct research. Change preposition
from going
Hence
, they cannot flourish in their careers. As a result
, they cannot be able to figure out some new historical information which is important for our lives.
In conclusion, there should be an entrance fee for visitors of museums to maintain the monuments and buildings, and hire professional individuals. however
, this
amount should be lower than average to be affordable to everyone from different social classes.Submitted by parianabiloo78 on
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Task Response
The essay demonstrates a reasonable understanding of the task and provides a clear position on the issue. However, there is a need for more specific and developed arguments to fully address the task and provide a comprehensive response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and the essay is logically structured. There is, however, a need for better cohesion between paragraphs and clearer transitions between ideas to improve overall coherence.