Many manufacturered food and drink products contain high lever of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

At
this
moment,
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
the plethora
show examples
of health issues can be caused by
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
like consuming
beverages
which contain
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
proportion of sugar. To obliterate
this
issue, there is a notion that making
more
Correct pronoun usage
it more
show examples
expensive can be applied as a way to decrease
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
who eat sweet items. From my perspective, I disagree with the earlier contention.
Then
, there will be explanations in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, encouraging societies to choose less sweet
beverages
can be implemented by explaining several implications when those items are eaten
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
. The previous action can be applied by creating social campaigns which concern
to make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
consuming less sugar
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a new habit.
Consequently
, people can be more educated and they will determine their preferences wisely.
For example
,
Ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry
show examples
of Health in Indonesia advertises numerous problems
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
television about a number of detrimental effects when sweet products are consumed
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
.
Moreover
, corporations have
contribution
Replace the word
contributed
show examples
by detailing
ingredient
Fix the agreement mistake
ingredients
show examples
in their outputs.
This
is extremely crucial in view of meals and drinks which do not have
detail
Replace the word
detailed
show examples
ingredient
Fix the agreement mistake
ingredients
show examples
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
be eaten massively by a number of people.
As a result
, when
beverages
have
detail
Replace the word
detailed
show examples
ingredient
Fix the agreement mistake
ingredients
show examples
, people will have adequate information before they make
decision
Add an article
a decision
the decision
show examples
,
in other words
, many drawbacks of sugary meals can be avoided.
For instance
, manufacturers can redesign packages of their products which will explain all materials inside
beverages
.
To conclude
, I redeclare my consideration
selling
Correct word choice
that selling
show examples
beverages
more expensive is not a preferable measure. As a
replacmenet
Correct your spelling
replacement
, several activities
such
as explaining
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
results of sugary items and giving more detail about the
ingredient
are necessary to persuade societies to consume foods and drinks which contain less sugar proportion.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: