IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Present a written argument or case to an educated non-specialist audience on the following topic: Under British and Australian laws a jury in a criminal case has no access to information about the defendant's past criminal record. This protects the person who is being accused of the crime. Some lawyers have suggested that this practice should be changed and that a jury should be given all the past facts before they reach their decision about the case. Do you agree or disagree?

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The law in
both
Use synonyms
 the United
kingdom
Correct your spelling
Kingdom
show examples
 and Australia prohibits
juries
Use synonyms
 to get information on the defendant's past criminal records by doing
this
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 they believe it protects offenders from being accused and
giving
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
 them a fair verdict ,
however
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 , some lawyers think it's more reasonable to get the full picture before making the final decision , I personally agree with the
last
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 statement as knowing the past , can provide more fairness those who were never involved in criminal activity and
also
Linking Words
 give the
juries
Use synonyms
 better prospective on the situation .
To begin
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 with , when someone has in the past had a criminal
recored
Correct your spelling
record
 they shouldn't be treated like those who
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
commit
 crimes for the first time as they should get an additional punishment for breaking laws twice or as many times as they did ,
thus
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 ,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 essential to get a
recored
Correct your spelling
record
recorded
 for the past facts ,
for instance
Linking Words
 , if 2 different people were to
assult
Correct your spelling
assault
 2 others and they
both
Use synonyms
 got the same amount of
damge
Correct your spelling
damage
 done, but the first had
covicted
Correct your spelling
convicted
 many crimes
whereas
Linking Words
 the other has a clean record the first should be sentenced to more time as he didn't learn from his past mistakes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if
this
Linking Words
 hypothetical case were to happen in
both
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 the
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
 we're talking about it
woudn't
Correct your spelling
wouldn't
 be fair for the second person with no past
crime
Replace the word
criminal
show examples
 records .
In addition
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 , knowing the
persons
Change to a genitive case
person's
persons'
show examples
 history can give those making the
desicion
Correct your spelling
decision
 a better view because in many cases it's difficult for the
Use synonyms
juries
Fix the agreement mistake
jury
show examples
 to give the right and fair choice ,
therefore
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 , having all the past actions can help clear things
and
Change preposition
up and
show examples
 make the final call , based the example provided in the
last
Linking Words
 paragraph , it would be easier to provide justice if they knew the past ,
on the other hand
Linking Words
 , if they were
both
Use synonyms
 presented to the
juries
Use synonyms
 with not mentioning there past convictions it would be harder for them to make up
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 minds as they might consider that one may have never
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
 bad
while
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 the other did ,
thererfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
, they might start thinking that justice is not going to get served .
To sum up
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 ,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 crucial for ,
juries
Use synonyms
 to put
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 consideration the past events of criminals as it provides them with more evidence
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 can help come up
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 right saying about
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 crimes and will
also
Linking Words
 give offer justice to those who have no past flaws .

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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