Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online than face to face . Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #socialise #face #development

An increasing number of

people

meet and talk to their friends,

relatives

Correct word choice

and relatives

show examples

online

instead

of in person.In my opinion,

this

is a negative development which leads to isolation,potentially harmful

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

and problems later on in life. Before the

Internet

people

would frequently go out to meet their friends, and relatives in different places

such

as bars, restaurants and cafes.

whereas

now they prefer to stay at home, chatting online.

As a result

people

are starting to spend the majority of their time alone at home in their rooms without meeting others.

This

kind of isolation is not healthy and sometimes leads to depression and other various issues. Another issue is that meeting different

people

online can be risky.

In other words

people

can assume fake identities on the

internet

as well as

they can hide their characteristics.

This

is particularly concerning for teenagers as they are more impressionable and can easily be led into dangerous situations.

Furthermore

This

is an online interaction so the parents have no way of monitoring it and protecting their children.

Finally

, socialising online can end in difficulties a year later as conversations and shared photos that had been forgotten reappear.Nowadays,

this

is a critical situation for many

people

,especially teenagers who do not think carefully before posting something on social sites

such

as Instagram, and Facebook.

This

is to say , the information and photos that are put on the

internet

can remain forever.

while

Capitalize word

While

show examples

a person may share intimate communication with close friends,these words can be resurfaced later on leading to much embarrassment. In a nutshell,

Although

it has become more popular for humans to socialise through the

Internet

,it has brought about too many problems for

this

to be considered a positive trend.

Submitted by mmehakbatth on Thu May 11 2023

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task response

The overall response addresses the task, but the arguments lack depth and analysis. Revisit the prompt and provide a more balanced analysis of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the use of linking words and cohesive devices could be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

276 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

social media platforms
online interactions
virtual communication
global community
interpersonal skills
digital divide
cyberspace
virtual presence
social networking
mental wellbeing
digital literacy
safe spaces
marginalized groups
face-to-face communication
socialisation

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Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online than face to face . Is this a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think that the best way to succeed in life is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign languages can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems

For some people learning in a group is the most effective way.while other prefer one one-on-one instruction .disscusn both view .what is your opinion ?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?