Argument : Some people think that public health is a responsibility of the government , while others believe that individuals should be responsible for their own health . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

In current
society
, whether public
health
is the
government
's
responsibility
or
individuals
'
responsibility
has aroused a debate . From my point of view , public
health
should be
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
responsibility
.
Individuals
are supposed to be responsible for their own
health
for a variety of reasons .
To begin
with ,
individuals
know their own
health
better than others . It is evident that the
government
cannot understand everyone's needs realistically ,
thus
individuals
must shoulder the
responsibility
for looking after themselves .
Then
, an individual's
self - discipline
Correct your spelling
self-discipline
show examples
is the key to better
health
. More exactly , nobody can replace an individual to manage their own lifestyle well in order to improve their
health
.
Moreover
,
individuals
, especially adults , must realise that being responsible for their own
health
is
also
being responsible for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
In other words
, if everyone is sabotaging their own
health
, there will be more burden
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
, which is not a place that people want to be . Certainly , the
government
needs to provide sufficient support in terms of improving public
health
.
However
, the
government
cannot do much apart from offering financial support and education in
this
area .
As a result
, the ultimate
responsibility
still lies in
individuals
' actions . In sum , the
government
should contribute to public
health
, but
individuals
must be responsible for their own
health
. In
this
way , people will be able to live in a more wholesome
society
.
Submitted by 457934770 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: