IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Most people pay taxes to contribute to the development of their country, however, some think they have other responsibilities rather than paying taxes. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

A majority of individuals view paying tariffs as a good thing
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 it has a positive result in contributing to the development of their own country. Vice versa, others think that they have other duties to do rather than paying taxes. I personally think that paying levies is a huge responsibility that every citizen should take
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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seriously as it helps to increase the growth of their nation. First of all, the purpose of tax revenue is to help raise the
living
Correct word choice
apply
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standard of all the citizens in a country. The governments mainly use their expenditure to invest in public health, transport, and education so that the poor can be able to access those things.
Accordingly
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,
this
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 helps to narrow down the gap between the underprivileged and the wealthy
people
Check wording
apply
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.
Consequently
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, social problems can crimes can be decreased
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 more people are able to access the essentials.
Moreover
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, as individuals pay a levy, they will be able to consume some goods or services
for
Change preposition
at
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 a cheaper price.
For example
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, in many public schools
tuition
Punctuation problem
, tuition
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 is free to ensure that all children can be able to go to school
Punctuation problem
, or
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or
Correct word choice
and
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 public hospital fees are often more affordable compared to private hospitals.
However
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, if the tax rates are too high,
this
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 can discourage many people from working and contributing to the economy.
Subsequently
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, productivity is likely to fall
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 leads to a decrease in the total GDP of a nation.
This
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 indicates that their development is decreasing.
For instance
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, in many countries,
due to
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 the income taxes being too high as the citizens earn a higher amount of salary, individuals will
demotivate
Wrong verb form
be demotivated
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 makes them not bother to seek a better promotion.
As a result
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, many innovative ideas might have been neglected.
Overall
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, it is understandable that society does not see paying taxes as a positive thing.
However
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, it is a good thing to pay tariffs in order to help a higher number of communities to be able to access many goods and services.

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coherence & cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main idea. Try to stay on topic and explain your points in a simple way.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to show your ideas clearly, and link them back to the main question.
coherence & cohesion
Use more clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs to help your reader follow your thoughts better.
task achievement
Try to develop your points with more details to show a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Good attempt to discuss both views, showing you understand the topic well.
task achievement
Some points are relevant and interesting, providing a basis for discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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