IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Write a letter to your manager about your work from last year. Include What you did What do you think you could improve A training request

#manager #work #year #request
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Mr. John, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to bring to your notice that we must make drastic
modification
Fix the agreement mistake
modifications
show examples
 to our business
website
Use synonyms
 to make it more user-friendly
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our
customers
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
 year, I developed
a
Change the article
an
show examples
ecommerce
Correct your spelling
e-commerce
website
Use synonyms
 which holds our company products to sell to our
customers
Use synonyms
. I was assigned to design the interface for the customer and our
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 to operate
Use synonyms
website
Add an article
the website
a website
show examples
. Even clients were excited to shop online from our company
website
Use synonyms
 and it was easy to purchase online. I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 some improvement needs to
taken
Add a missing verb
be taken
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the same
website
Use synonyms
;
moreover
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 got some feedback from our
customers
Use synonyms
 as the
payments
Fix the agreement mistake
payment
show examples
gatway
Correct your spelling
gateway
 should
also
Linking Words
 be incorporated within the
website
Use synonyms
 to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
payment much easier.
Although
Linking Words
 our portal is user-friendly for our
customers
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 I suggest that online payment
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 will be more convenient for buyers to make payments, which can yield higher revenues. To acquire advanced education on
this
Linking Words
 matter, I request your permission to attend a technical workshop, which will broaden the spectrum of my skills to stay ahead of
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
 competitors. I am
early
Rephrase
apply
show examples
waiting for your response and approval of my training request. Yours sincerely, Raji
Submitted by rajipeter3011 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure to create a logical sequence within the letter and make sure that each paragraph presents a single idea clearly.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter could be more formal and professional. Ensure to maintain a suitable writing tone throughout the letter.
task achievement
The letter adequately responds to the task by addressing the required points. However, ensure to provide more specific examples and details to support your points and improve the overall task achievement.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: