Some people believe that the government should fund the arts, while others think that it is not the government's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

While
it is
wildly
Rephrase
widely
show examples
claimed that the states should invest in arts , some argue that it is not their responsibility. In the essay, I will discuss both views and
also
state my perspective as the conclusion.
To begin
with, it might be sensible for some to believe that governments should play a crucial role in art development by giving budgets, seeing that there are high expenses for creating any project or
in other words
a large amount of money is required. To explain, the equipment
such
as paints and brushes are costly.
Moreover
, the artist does not earn any income during the time that making some products.
Accordingly
, these are reasons support from states is significant.
On the other hand
, some opponents of
this
idea might
purpose
Verb problem
propose
show examples
that it is not the government's duty since
this
is not necessary for developing the country.
Due to
this
, these creators should find ways to get funds.
For example
, find some investor or businessman who is interested in those products.
However
, there are some limits because those people will pay attention only to the styles that they like and the
drawing
Fix the agreement mistake
drawings
show examples
of those famous artists.
To conclude
,
although
it is undeniable that art is not an important factor that developed the country , I am of the opinion that governments should support
this
part as the reason that art can represent the soft power of the nation and
this
can make foreigners attend to our country and the number of tourists will be increased.
Submitted by nuchnapa.anna on

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task response
Task Response Score: 5 - The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing both views but lacks a clear opinion. The response is somewhat developed, but the conclusion does not effectively state your perspective on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion Score: 6 - The logical structure is mostly clear, but the introduction and conclusion are weak and need improvement. The ideas are generally supported and connected, but the essay lacks smooth transitions between paragraphs, resulting in some coherence issues.

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