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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graphs show the changes in the figure for sources and the distribution of
police
Use synonyms
 income in British between 2017 to 2018.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the National government is the primary(main) source of the (冠词)
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
 and the dominant(拼写) trend is almost the same in the next
year
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the government department spent most of the
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
 on salaries from 2017 and 2018.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the national government is evaluated as the most crucial source of the
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
 at 175.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017. The number grew slightly to 177.8
million
Use synonyms
 in the next
year
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the second greatest source is local taxes, with 91.2
million
Use synonyms
 a
year
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure increased to 102.3
million
Use synonyms
 in the following
year
Use synonyms
. At
last
Linking Words
, the other sources of the
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
 are almost the same at around 38
million
Use synonyms
. Apparently, regarding the approach of the
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
, we can see that much money was invested in salaries, up to 75 per cent of the total spending in 2017,
then
Linking Words
 fell slightly to 69 per cent in 2018.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in 2017 about 8 per cent of the cost went into technology,
while
Linking Words
 in 2018 was almost twice that.
Finally
Linking Words
, we can see a similarity costs of buildings and transport at 17%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words police, budget, year, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fiscal allocations
  • Revenue streams
  • Budgetary oversight
  • Expenditure
  • Financial appropriation
  • Government grants
  • Local taxation
  • Operational costs
  • Capital investment
  • Public safety
  • Crime prevention
  • Community policing
  • Resource allocation
  • Year-on-year comparison
  • Budgetary constraints
  • Fiscal year
  • Fund disbursement
  • Budget deficit/surplus
  • Trend analysis
  • Financial sustainability
  • Law enforcement funding
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