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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant
#two #maps #show #road #access #city #summarise #information #features #comparision
The two maps describe the
road
 accessibility to a hospital which is located in a
city
 in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2007 and 2010. The shape of roads and some infrastructures
such
 as
bus
 stations and parking lots had been changed
through
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over
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 four years.
To begin
 in 2007, 6
bus
 stations were
seperately
Correct your spelling
separately
 placed both the east and the west sides of the hospital
road
, respectively 3
bus
 ones.
Also
, a parking spot was located only
one
Correct your spelling
once
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, so
staff
 and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 used it together.
On
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In
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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contrast, in 2010, roundabouts were added to not only the north but
also
 the south of the hospital
road
. These made people
to
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apply
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move both sides of them conveniently. Plus,
Correct article usage
the
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public and
staff
 parked their cars
by
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apply
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seperately
Correct your spelling
separately
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
pblic
Correct your spelling
public
 could use a parking lot which was near the
city
 hospital and
gate
Correct article usage
the gate
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 of it headed to
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
 hospital and the cars of
staff
 could
parked
Change the verb form
park
be parked
show examples
 at the
staff
 car park which
also
 had a door forwarded to a ring
road
. Another differentiation is the
bus
 stop. 6
bus
 stops had been removed and one big
bus
 station was established on the
westsouth
Correct your spelling
west south
west-south
 of
Add an article
a
the
show examples
city
 hospital.
Submitted by nursemk1991 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words road, city, bus, staff with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure, development, expansion, accessibility, comparative analysis, layout, direction, emergency services, facilities, pedestrian paths, urban development, strategic planning
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