IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the graph below, we have graph that shows in percentage changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the United Kingdom.

In the graph below, we have graph that shows in percentage changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the United Kingdom.
#percentage #patterns #access #technology #homes #kingdom
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the
graph
Use synonyms
 below, we have
Use synonyms
graph
Add an article
a graph
show examples
 that shows in percentage changing patterns of domestic
access
Use synonyms
 to modern technology in homes in the United Kingdom. Generally, it has different patterns that
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 some technological tendencies within a certain period. More clearly, the
graph
Use synonyms
 starts
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1996 and ends
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2003, on another dimension of the
graph
Use synonyms
 it has
percentage
Correct article usage
a percentage
show examples
 from zero to 100 %. There are four positions of technology, which are CD player, Mobile phone, Home computer and Internet
access
Use synonyms
. The most popular technology is the CD player which
growth
Replace the word
grew
show examples
 from 60 % to 80 plus from 1996 to 2003, and the diagonal line is quite straight. On the opposite side to the highest point located in the chart is Internet
access
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, it rises only to about 40 % of all
chart
Fix the agreement mistake
charts
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the interesting fact,
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Internet
access
Use synonyms
 is the only point that starts from 1998 and it means that we can see when it has invented or
started
Add the particle
tostarted
show examples
 be in use in the UK. The
last
Linking Words
 two points have average levels, but the dynamic changing line of mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 shows that it has more popular at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 specific period, but sometimes not.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is less popular
from
Change preposition
than
show examples
 CD
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10-15 %.
Home
Add an article
The home
A home
show examples
 computer is on 3d place in our chart and it like the average technology-growing straight and fast
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, access with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • changing patterns
  • domestic access
  • modern technology
  • homes
  • United Kingdom
  • trend
  • acceleration
  • socioeconomic factors
  • income levels
  • educational attainment
  • correlation
  • internet access
  • personal computers
  • digital connection
  • computing
  • drop
  • plateau
  • asymptotic behavior
  • saturation
  • emergence
  • innovation
  • adoption rates
  • households
What to do next:
Look at other essays: