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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph shows the information average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2003. Write a report for university lecturer describing the information shown below

The line graph shows the information average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2003. Write a report for university lecturer describing the information shown below
#line #information #visitors #museum #summer #winter #report #university #lecturer
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The chart below shows the actual figure of
people
Use synonyms
 coming to
Use synonyms
Add an article
the museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 in
harmattan
Correct your spelling
Harmattan
show examples
 and
rainy
Correct article usage
the rainy
show examples
 season in the year 2003. It's in thousand
unit
Change to a plural noun
units
show examples
 per individual. It's seen that
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
people
Use synonyms
 enter
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 during the
summer
Use synonyms
 period
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
winter
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
.Both the
summer
Use synonyms
 and
winter
Use synonyms
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 off at zero
time
Use synonyms
 with no visitor entry
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
museum
Use synonyms
.
Eventually
Add a comma
,Eventually
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
summer
Correct quantifier usage
number of summer
show examples
 visitor
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
1300
Change preposition
by 1300
show examples
 by 1100
time
Use synonyms
 and decline
at
Change preposition
by
show examples
 1200 by 1500
people
Use synonyms
 to 800
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 at 1400 and gradually decrease to no person at 1800. The
winter
Use synonyms
 slightly
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 to 500
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
 at 1000
time
Use synonyms
 and has
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 instability entry until it reaches 600 visitors
of
Change preposition
out of
show examples
 1200 and
then
Linking Words
 has
drastic
Correct article usage
a drastic
show examples
 decrease to no visitors at 1400 and
maintain
Change the verb form
maintains
show examples
 a static movement from 1500 to 1800. In conclusion, the
museum
Use synonyms
 opens at the same
time
Use synonyms
 in
winter
Use synonyms
 and
summer
Use synonyms
 and closes at
exact
Add an article
the exact
an exact
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 both
people
Use synonyms
 visiting
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
summer
Use synonyms
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 higher number than
Use synonyms
winter
Change preposition
in winter
show examples
 period
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, museum, summer, winter, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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