IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph gives the details of changing modules of local access to contemporary technology in the UK between the years of 1996 to 2003.

The line graph gives the details of changing modules of local access to contemporary technology in the UK between the years of 1996 to 2003.
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The line graph gives the details of changing modules of local
access
Use synonyms
 to contemporary
technology
Use synonyms
 in the UK between the
years
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
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1996 to 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
domestic
access
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 four kinds of
technology
Use synonyms
 rose gradually, and the percentage of using mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 and internet
access
Use synonyms
 experienced a sharp increase within these
years
Use synonyms
. The CD player increased from 60% to more than 80% over the period of 7
years
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, there was a gradual rise in using home
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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. It climbed from approximately 25% to just over 50% within these
years
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the mobile phone started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 about 18% and ascended significantly to 70% throughout a period from 1996 to 2003. In comparison with other types of
technology
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
access
Use synonyms
 grew dramatically, from around 10% in 1998 to more than 40% in 2003.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 year 2003, four types of modern
technology
Use synonyms
 show
Correct article usage
a significantly
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significantly
Replace the word
significant
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 rise in the United Kingdom.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words access, technology, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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