IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph below shows the population of particular country by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2040.

The graph below shows the population of particular country by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2040.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates information about the comparison proportion of the
population
Use synonyms
, in three different
age
Use synonyms
 groups percentage-wise from 1960 including a forecast for 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
, the
population
Use synonyms
 of those aged 15-64 were the largest percentage of the
population
Use synonyms
 all recorded and predicted.
While
Linking Words
, those aged 65 and over increase during the
period
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the percentages of those aged 0-14 remind decreased during the
period
Use synonyms
. The
age
Use synonyms
 group 15-64 accounted for the greatest of the
population
Use synonyms
 during the beginning
period
Use synonyms
 and experienced a slight fall of 5% after a 60-year
period
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a number of
age
Use synonyms
 groups 0-14 comprised the second largest
population
Use synonyms
 in 1960.
However
Linking Words
, those experienced decline dramatically of about 10% in 2020.
In contrast
Linking Words
, those aged 65 and over contributed the lowest of the
population
Use synonyms
 just over 15% in 1960 and experienced a more than doubled increase to ​​nearly one-third in 2020.
In addition
Linking Words
, in The forecast for 2020 and 2040, the 15-64
age
Use synonyms
 group trend continued a slight fall of 14% of the total
population
Use synonyms
 in 2040,Those aged 0-14 experienced an of 10% in 2040.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the total of
population
Use synonyms
 elder (65+) is projected to increase and equal of the sum those aged group 15-64 in 2040.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, age, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: