Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays a lot of kids are spending hours and hours on their mobile phones. Technological devices, especially
smartphones
, have a huge impact on the younger generation. Being able to check nearly everything online whenever we want has a lot of advantages but
also
disadvantages at the same
time
for kids. Using the available technology too much can cause
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
severe addiction. In my
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will discuss the pros and cons of smartphone usage and identify why it is so addictive and popular. Having all the information in our hands (in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smartphones
) can be a great thing if we use it right. It is hard to tell if
smartphones
have a negative or positive effect on the younger generations' development
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because the youngest
so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
show examples
“Ipad generation” is still growing up. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
If they can use the information overflow and select the right ones that they need it can be extremely useful for them, but
on the other hand
if they are wasting their
time
doing nothing online that can cause a negative development. Chatting with friends and family all around the world anytime, from anywhere is amazing. Listening to music,
watching
Correct word choice
and watching
show examples
great films are great
free
Add a hyphen
free-time
show examples
time
activities
such
as playing video games.
Although
they can be addictive
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
for someone who does not know how to separate free
time
activities and the productive part of the day from each other. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
the biggest problem with
smartphones
is the FOMO (fear of missing out), what kids feel whenever they leave their cellphones behind or
while
using social media websites. One problem is when they are seeing other people (or even their own friends) going on programmes, holidays,
watching
Correct word choice
and watching
show examples
influencers having
the
Change the article
a
show examples
perfect life. That can be really misleading. The other problem is when they are playing a live video game. They do not want to stop playing because their friends are online, everything is happening so fast and they do not even want to miss a second out of the fun game. All in
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
I think you can not generalize with
smartphones
, it always depends on the person and the way they are using their technological devices. Sometimes it would be useful if parents controlled it, sometimes it's better not to be too hard about it. Every parent has to care for their children and know the limits of what they allow.
Submitted by mzsuti on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: