The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Recently, The topic that
argue
Change the verb form
argues
show examples
that
government
should provide financial
support
and
care
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
become even more controversial with
people
supporting the idea
while
other
rejecting
Wrong verb form
reject
show examples
the notion.
undenying
Correct your spelling
underlying
that
health
is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
important aspect
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
life
.In
this
essay, I discuss each point of view
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
further
explaining and analyzing each notion.
To begin
with, one key and foremost reason why
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should provide
health
care
and aid in
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
expenses is that
government
should
payback
Correct your spelling
pay back
show examples
people
who spend
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
whole
life
span
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
serving and helping in
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
and development of their countries.
Secondly
,
health
and education are the basic
life
right that each citizen must be able to acquire.
For instance
, Saudi Arabia showed
an
Change the article
a
show examples
great example in
provided
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
all citizens and residents total free
health
care
regardless the age and cost of treatment.
Finally
, Helping and aiding
people
in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
will loyalty and
support
to
government
On the other hand
,Starting with, Many
people
argue that
government
must save that huge amount of money
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
health
treatment and medicines
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
who are unproductive in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
People
who
support
this
concept believe that elder
people
are responsible for
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
own medicinal
care
. Another supporting idea,
some
Add a missing verb
is some
show examples
people
believe that if countries
support
citizens that will result in
depend
Add the preposition
ondepend
show examples
community and will kill competitive
battle
Fix the agreement mistake
battles
show examples
between individuals. In conclusion,
Although
people
differ in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of view and vision about
topic
Add an article
the topic
a topic
show examples
.Personally speaking, I
support
the first side that I believe
health
Change preposition
in health
show examples
care
,
where
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
mental or physical. is
essential
Correct article usage
an essential
show examples
life
need
that is
right for all
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
across society.
Submitted by mabuzayedfamily on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • government responsibility
  • financial support
  • care
  • retirees
  • personal responsibility
  • retirement planning
  • social security
  • pension
  • benefits
  • concerns
  • dependency
  • adequate savings
  • elderly citizens
  • burden
  • welfare system
  • poverty
  • social safety net
  • financial stability
  • public funds
  • sustainable
  • reliable
  • case study
  • Japan
  • Sweden
  • United States
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