IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
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There is no doubt that volunteering is a vital benefit idea that has
ultimate
Change the article
an ultimate
the ultimate
show examples
 number of benefits. Recently, The concept that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 should
voluntary
Add a missing verb
be voluntary
show examples
 has become
datable
Add an article
a datable
show examples
 topic that many agree
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
with while
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 reject the notion. Obviously,
new
Add an article
a new
the new
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 generation is the fuel of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and investing in
teenagers
Use synonyms
 will help in
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
 and development of the countries.In my opinion, I believe that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 and children should
payback
Correct your spelling
pay back
show examples
society
Change preposition
to society
show examples
 by helping others.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, unpaid
activities
Use synonyms
 result in win to win
relation
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relationship
show examples
.One of the key and foremost advantages is that it
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
teenagers
Use synonyms
 to communicate and build
connecting
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connections
show examples
 with each other.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these
activities
Use synonyms
 will allow all individuals in society to cooperate with one another.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
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, When
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
 help other in
community
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the community
a community
show examples
this
Linking Words
 will increase his or her
self-confident
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self-confidence
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.
Also
Linking Words
, these
activities
Use synonyms
 will help
teenagers
Use synonyms
 acquire new skills and spend their free time in
activities
Use synonyms
that
Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 beneficial rather than wasting time
in
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apply
show examples
playing video games or attending parties
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
weekend
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the weekend
a weekend
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Consequently
Linking Words
, Not only
teenagers
Use synonyms
 gain
benefit
Add an article
the benefit
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 of these but
also
Linking Words
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, The number of
worker
Change to a plural noun
workers
show examples
 who paint
wall
Fix the agreement mistake
walls
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 in Saudi Arabia in decrease
due to
Linking Words
large
Change the article
a large
the large
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 number of
voluntary
Replace the word
volunteers
show examples
 who are willing to help special in nonprofit
organization
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organizations
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Government may increase
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
show examples
 about the importance of volunteering to encourage more people to attend unpaid
activities
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
personal
Replace the word
personally
show examples
 speaking, I believe that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 must
payback
Correct your spelling
pay back
show examples
 to
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 by attending unpaid
activities
Use synonyms
 which will
also
Linking Words
 result in many benefits to the individual.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 are two-side
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 and will help in
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
 and development of societies.
Submitted by mabuzayedfamily on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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