An increasing number of larger shopping malls, areas and departmental stores are leading to the decline number of smaller corner shops. What are the advantages and disadvantages

#malls #areas #stores #decline #corner #shops

this

modern era, a rising ratio of shopping centres,

malls

and departments is forwarding to the reduced

number

of small shops. In my opinion, there are numerous merits of the increasing

number

of mega

malls

. I will discuss the merits and demerits of hiking the

number

of developed businesses in the

impending

Correct word choice

following

show examples

paragraphs.

To begin

with, the advantage of the above statement is that larger shopping centres can save the time of their consumers. First and foremost,

malls

provide a range of products

such

as shoes, bags and groceries under one roof.

As individuals

Correct word choice

Individuals

show examples

do not need to go to various shops

for purchasing

Change preposition

to purchase

show examples

different things.

Moreover

, it provides good quality products. The reason for

this

is that big

malls

also

use good raw materials to make products.

Consequently

, individuals can not only save their time but

also

they can save their money.

Hence

, it is apparent why many are in favour of big

malls

On the other hand

, the drawbacks of the declining

number

of small stores can create unemployment. If big businesses are opened in local areas, everyone might prefer to purchase things from

malls

As small

Correct word choice

Small

show examples

shoppers are forced to close their small businesses by big organisations.

Thus

, everyone

does work

Wrong verb form

works

show examples

to earn money, and shops can not only face unemployment but

also

they can suffer from stress, anxiety and depression.

As a result

, small shoppers are unable to complete their basic requirements

such

as food, clothing and shelter. In view of the arguments

outlines

Wrong verb form

outlined

show examples

above, one can conclude that the benefits of

rising

Verb problem

growing

show examples

larger shopping centres are indeed too great to ignore.

Submitted by amanjotkaur532 on Sat May 13 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and try to avoid repetition.

grammatical range

Work on your sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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An increasing number of larger shopping malls, areas and departmental stores are leading to the decline number of smaller corner shops. What are the advantages and disadvantages

Include an introduction and conclusion

The prison system has not been effective at reforming criminals. A large number of convicted felons return to committing crimes soon after being released. What are the problems with the prison system and what solution can you recommend to address this issue?

These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Do advantages of working at home outweigh diadvantages?

21.While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

"Mothers play key roles in the upbringings of children. But in the recent times both parents are getting busy with professional life. Who, in your opinion, should take the responsibility of childcare now?"